First, I want to let you know that you are not alone. Many of us, unfortunately, have been through the doctors who've told us that it is all in our heads and that we need to see a psychiatrist. Even, as you've discovered, some uneducated rheumatologists have refused to take our symptoms seriously. You've done the right thing by getting advice from another doctor and especially by learning as much as you can about Lupus, its symptoms, its medications and treatments.
With reference to exercise: It is very important that we do some form of exercise on a regular basis. However, the advice given to you was correct. We need to stay away from exercises that are jarring and/or that cause muscle fatigue (such as weightlifting). Swimming, walking, yoga, pilates and other exercises of that type are generally suggested for us. As far as weightlifting, to keep your muscles toned, you could probably use hand weights (no more than 20-25 pounds) and do more repetitions. The more repetitions that you do, the lighter the weights should be.
We are here to help you in any way that we can and to answer your questions and provide you with information. We all understand what you are going through and we will never dismiss you or tell you that it is all in your head. I am happy that you've joined us and remember....you are not alone!
Peace and Blessings
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