My goodness, you have had a rough go of it. I am so sorry.
So you are one of us who have been told or intimated that it is "all in your head" I understand.
In regards to your question....I suggest that you give your rheumy all of your symptoms and let her go from there. I would then ask her if she would begin testing me for autoimmune disease. She will ask you some questions of her own,(perhaps you have been sent a questionaire) There are 11 criterion for lupus.Saysusie has written all of that many times. Of course, if you have been reading about it then you may have seen how hard it is to be diagnosed. Many of us have gone around to doctors in the excess of 10 years before stumbling on a diagnosis...very frustrating!
The tests are frustrating, because sometimes they are positive and that can be a false or negative and that could be a false one. One thing that you could ask your rheumy is if you could have fibromyalgia. I have that one also. It is like arthritis of the muscles and there is intermittant pain. the pain is real so do not let anyone tell you it is because of depression. I have had that one said to me for 10 years before I found a rheumy who took the other tests seriously.
Please let us know that your rheumy says and welcome to the family
Blessings to you and yours,