Hi New York Girl,
Welcome and we all COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND your frustration while going through this diagnosis process. I went through the same thing.
Saysusie gave you some very good information and I would encourage you to keep a journal of your symptoms.
About your grandfather, my rheumatologist says that Lupus is genetic in origin and that your grandfather had it, cannot be dismissed.
We all wish that research would move faster along than it does. It's all about making our society more aware of this disease. It took years before breast cancer became a common topic of discussion, just as diabetes and multiple sclerosis. It's all about everyone becoming involved at any level to educate our society about this extremely complicated disease.
There are no two people who suffer the same, thus making it extremely difficult for doctors to diagnose. You can have lupus and not have a positive blood report, it is such a difficult disease to diagnose. The symptoms that we present with mimic so many other diseases and I am sure it is frustrating for the doctors as well.
Keep coming back, and stay plugged in with positive and supportive people. You will soon find an answer. In the meantime, please take good care of yourself, get plenty of rest and drink drink and drink lots of water.
"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." - unknown