Ouch! I just dread dental problems, and I'm so sorry to hear that some of you are going through that. The dentist has never been my favorite person to see. Fortunately, I found a very gentle dentist and he's aware of my health issues so he's really good at watching for signs of problems.
It isn't unusual to find that you are affected by more than one autoimmune disease or disorder. Sjogren's is a disorder that causes dryness, and that can really affect the condition of your mouth, and teeth. Saliva is needed to 'flush' your mouth, and it contains enzymes that are critical to the health of your teeth. So, if you have dry mouth, you could have Sjogren's Syndrome. (Dry mouth alone is not a diagnosis for Sjogren's, but it is a common symptom.) There are mouthwashes and toothpastes that help (Biotine, Oasis) and using a flouride rinse IS a good idea. Here's a link to the Sjogren's Syndrome Foundation website. http://www.sjogrens.org/ Might be helpful info.
I have Sjogren's Syndrome (confirmed by a lip biopsy and some other tests.) It mostly affects my eyes. But, I also have TMJ problems, and grind my teeth at night. I see my dentist regularly, and work really hard on dental hygiene. I've seen other lupus and Sjogren's patients who have lost teeth due to the disease. I'm hoping to avoid that!
"If you trust Google more than you trust your doctor than maybe it's time to switch doctors."