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Thread: VENTING Husband has left

  1. #1
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    Default VENTING Husband has left

    Hey eveyone,

    Well he finally has flown the coop after 10 separations in 5 years. He is unable to cope with all the stress (drinking heavyly) not bringing in a paycheck like he should....etc....So now he has decided to leave me....which in all actuallity....makes me feel better and less stressed. His kids could'nt cope with my illness (Lupus SLE) and of course he would'nt really try to explain it to them. They became increasingly disrespectful to me and rude. My husband would not do anything...he told that if they stress me out then maybe I sould go stay with my dad while they were at our house...GRRRRRRRR I said hell no!! this my house I pay the mortgage and that he needed to teach his girls how to respect adults. Anyway...I also found through him that he is unable to cope with my illness and that I would be better off taking care of myself....He also said he would actually finanially take care of me....which blew my mind....so we will see if really happens....I do pray it does. Now that he is gone he is finally getting a paycheck (good ones too)...amazing....Before he left I had asked to go back to AA and quit drinking again...but he refused....so I do feel as if I am better off and it is nice not having to deal with all his drama......when he drank he was very verbally abusive..Anyway....was just needing to vent.......................God bles you all....Dawn

  2. #2
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    Default

    Sorry that you are going through all of this on top of dealing with your illness. I will keep both of you in my prayers.

  3. #3
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    I'm so sorry...Let him go...You can concentrate on your well being now. Sending prayers your way...

  4. #4
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    Thank you both so much for your prayers....I really appreciate it! God Bless You BOth...Dawn

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    I'm so sorry you are having to go through such a difficult time. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

  6. #6
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    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I went through a similar situation about 10 years ago, after I had been sick for a couple of years... it was not "acceptable" to be an "imperfect" wife. So he left. It was hard in some ways, but sooooo peaceful in others. I actually found about a year of total remission (without meds even).

    I hope you also find peace and a break from the Lupus. Advice: take an hour or two every day to just do something nice for yourself. Do things you'd never do before (ie manicure, pedicure, hairstyle, new underwear... whatever...) it doesn't have to be expensive. If you like museums, drive to one. Just do something. Start a new hobby--I became a hockey nut, attending games and making hockey friends. I also did something I'd always wanted to do--I learned to country dance. And through that, met people who introduced me to the private aircraft world--and this is where I met my now-husband (Who is awesome!)

    There is a whole new life--without abuse, without alcoholism, and without the daily stress of living with those things. I hope you find it, and enjoy it.

    --Kristin

  7. #7
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    Marycain;

    Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

    Chichibug;

    I have already starting feeling peaceful since he has been gone...now its just me and my two dogs Sammy (100lb Chocolate Lab) and Gracie (Australian Cow Dog "Red Heeler) and two cats Maggie and George (the comedian). Anyway...I know things will be better for me and I can concentrate on getter better. Right now I have severe Lupus SLE...but I pray everyday...to getting better. As soon as I financially get on my feet...I am going to treat myself to a small shopping spree...need new clothes ...since I have been on that dad gum pred...I have gained a ton of weight...so I will get me some new clothes.

    God Bless you both.
    Dawn

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    Opps....sorry for the misspellings....big time Brain Fog day....Dawn

  9. #9
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    Hi again,
    I am glad you're feeling peace. I know the relief that you can feel when an abuser is officially "out of the picture". Like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

    I know how you feel about the prednisone. I hate/love that drug. I love how it makes me feel better, but HATE the weight. I told my doc once that I refused to take it because of that... but he talked me into it anyway I hope you find something terrific.

    Oh, if you're looking for GREAT deals--Amazon.com has great deals on shoes and clothes... if you look at their apparel and then go to 70% off or more... and then input your size... yes, your choices are limited, but they are still good I just bought 4 pairs of shoes (my weakness, because no matter how fat or skinny I am, my shoes are still an 8 1/2) that retail would have cost me over 500 dollars--but I got them for about 80 dollars. (For all 4 pair!) I found designer jeans that retail for 250 for about 40, too. So check it out... it's fun just to look around.

    Have a better day,
    Kristin

  10. #10
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    Default :(

    Sorry to hear about your hubby. Hopefully with him gone you can concentrate on getting better. Less stress is a big plus. My ex husband was abusive as well and I thought I could never make it on my own. Not only did I make it with 3 kids, I eventually met a wonderful man who I am now married to who is very accepting of me and my children. He doesn't even think I am crazy with my Lupus issues! Good luck!

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