Kokopelli, I'm sorry you're being caught in the parental 'squeeze play.' I know how it feels, having just been there. It's easy for someone else to say that you need to set boundaries. It's hard not feel guilty, if guilt is something that's been woven into your relationship with your parent. You play the same tapes over and over in your head - I know - I've heard those tapes myself! Do you have a support group for care givers in your area? This is one of the topics that they discuss a lot - it's a really common thread. You might find some good ideas on how to help your mom cope without giving up all of your own time. I wish you well, Kokopelli, and hope that you can find a balance. We're here for you - vent all you need to!
"If you trust Google more than you trust your doctor than maybe it's time to switch doctors."