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Thread: minions of the devil

  1. #1
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    Default minions of the devil

    So, i have two uppety tuxedo kitties that are obviously minions of the devil, they are in communication with my doctors because every mornining at 5;00 am when my first round of meds is due, my face is getting licked and tormented and sharp nails or teeth ar being inserted into my feet after that whole situation just getting back to rest in my recliner, they know ive taken water pills, and that my lap belongs to them and that with the fact that the harmonic vibrations from their purring will cause my bladder to fill at a enormously fast and painful rate, making them move from my lap causes a beret of meows basically chewing me out and then they follow me to the bathroom to continue the admonishment(i not allowed in the bathroom alone anymore) so there i set for hours in excruiating pain fingers digging into the arms of the recliner,toes curled up and cramping, with my eyes crossed, finally i get brave enough to make them move and take the abuse. so now at 9 am i want to go lay down but taking up the space of a 6'2" 220 man are these two lttle kitties, i know doing absolutly normal things to these kittens like pulling their tail,messin with their toes,scratchin bellies or flickin their whiskers will result in my runnin for something to stop the blood flow from body somewhere, i dont dare wake them, besides i can sleep in my recliner so they can torture my bladder again when they realize where im at. the other day after trying to apply the nessicary tape to their paws i realized i was bleading profusly from several places and applied firstaid and bandaids, my doctor thought i was being abused at home, i told him i was and who was doing it and he discontinued my blood thinner and told me i deserved it(how rude) whats next??? i think their tails will make good candle wicks when dipped in oil :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
    Fair Oaks California

  2. #2
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    SoftClaws are the answer, but get the vet to apply them! I wish I had a picture of my himmie wearing the hot pink softclaw tips, but he was too humiliated to pose for the camera. And for getting them out of your lap, a water squirt bottle works wonders! Seriously, I'm envious, I love tuxies, and would adore having two tuxie kittens. But you do want to be careful about being clawed, especially if you are on immunsuppresants or prednisone.

  3. #3
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    Default claws

    i apprecaite your concern marycain, this post was meant in jest, the truth being with my wife and son leaving everyday to go on with their lives, my kittens keep me sane without them i would be in a lot worse shape mentally, so i thought i would share their tortures of me with everyone, right now at this very moment i have a paw being stuck in my ear :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    i think the benifit of having them around helps take my mind off of the disease, as much as i complain about them, i dont think i could gtake it without them, so gotta go get some pliers to pull nails now :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:







    just joking
    Fair Oaks California

  4. #4
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    Funny story!

    I LOVE or should I say worship my kitties. They own me. Before my daughter was born, I was office manager of an animal hospital and the benefits of owning or being around animals daily is something people don't realize. It is wonderful. I have 5 and two are tuxedo's. I sometimes wish I could come back in my second life as a cat as long as it would be with an owner such as myself!

  5. #5
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    I have often fell asleep in the MOST akward and uncomfortable position in order to not disturb my sleeping beauties. You know the saying...dogs have owners, cats have staff. SOOO true!

  6. #6
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    Default how true

    How true, i maintain my house and camping trailer just for the pleasure and conveinence of my cats 8)


    Yes they go camping with me
    Fair Oaks California

  7. #7
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    That's so sweet.

  8. #8
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    oh heck no, did you just call me sweet :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:


    now i have sick my teenage mutant ninja guinea pig on you
    <<<<<<-----------


    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    Fair Oaks California

  9. #9
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    Yes I did because any man that loves his cats is obviously sweet. My hubby was sooo not a cat person before me but he has transformed into a cat person now. But I guess he really had no choice ....love me , love my cats that's the way it is.

  10. #10
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    When I worked at the animal hospital I used to love when men would bring their cats in (not that I loved seeing their cats sick, you kow what I mean) and they would be so worried over them. Very touching.

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