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Thread: A torn decision-help!

  1. #1
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    Default A torn decision-help!

    You guys seem like a good place for me to turn for this TOUGH decision. I have posted my bio regarding my lupus diagnosis, flare and having to deliver my baby at 5 months due to the flare(aug 06). Well after that some of my doctors stated I should never get pregnant again and a couple of others said just wait until I went into remission. I was on dialysis (due to lupus nephritis) but got off in Dec. (thank GOD!)

    Well, I had an appt. w/ my ob/gyn in Feb for my well woman and to discuss me getting and IUD but my cycle came that day and I had to cancel. Well now in between that time I have gotten pregnant. My husband and I weren't trying and it was an accident.

    Well, today I saw my rheumi and ob and that were not positive at all. I am very aware of the risk of my kidneys failing again, me having a flare, possibly going back on dialysis, etc. But I also say why would GOD allow me to get pregnant for me to turn around and terminate. My faith in GOD says that he is just using me to be another testimony to someone as to what GOD can do but after my visit with them today I am very torn and saddened. My rheumi and ob stated they don't think I should continue with the pregnancy and they didn't feel good about it. My rheumi's exact words were " you cheated dialysis one time and it's not likely to happen again". My ob told me about a good doctor in town he knew of that specialized in terminating pregnancies. Neither said anything positive. I know they have to inform me of the risk, but where is the humanity? Where was the question of okay, if you want to continue with the pregnancy this is what we need to do. My ob didn't even do an ultrasound, nothing. I couldn't ever wait to get out of the door to cry, I began crying while he was talking to me.

    Has anyone else been in this position or known of anyone? Thanks for reading and responding.

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    Oh, my dear, I am so sorry. I know this is one of the hardest decisions of your life. Have you talked to your nephrologist about whether you could continue treatment during your pregnancy? And do you live anywhere close to a OB who specializes in high-risk pregnancy who would be willing to manage your case? Maybe if you talk to these doctors, they would have more options to offer, and then you could make a decision. It sounds like you are feeling pressured to terminate without any discussion of whether it would be possible for you to continue the pregnancy. I suspect the doctors are thinking of what is in your best interest medically, without considering what the emotional toll is on you. Have you talked about this with your husband?

    Sending a big hug your way.

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    Thanks for the hug I need it. My ob/gyn is a high risk doctor and he was also my doctor when I got sick last time. He also teamed up with a perinatologist but I haven't spoken to her.

    My husband has been kind of silent about it because he's scared for me and says he doens't know if he could go through what we went through again. So he just doesn't talk about it and that makes me feel bad as well.

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    I'm so sorry...I don't have any experience to relate to what you're going through. But, I think I can imagine the pain of such a decision. Press your doctors for some advice on how they would helpo you handle the pregnancy, should you decide NOT to terminate. Then you are armed with the facts you need to make an informed decision. You and your husband will be in my prayers. God has a hand in this...you know that...and God will help you to make the right decision for you and your family. Warm thoughts...prayers...hugs...coming your way!

    Jody
    "If you trust Google more than you trust your doctor than maybe it's time to switch doctors."

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    thank you Jody!

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    *hugs* I feel for you. This is such an awful decision, I wish you all the strength. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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    Hi Pretti in Pink!

    I am SO sorry that you are having to make such a difficult decision, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. May God give you strength and guidance to make your decision.

    Sending you an ENORMOUS cyber hug!

    Keep well and God bless you, Pretti in Pink!

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    Hi Again...I wanted to share some information that I found with you...and also to tell you about a great website for kidney issues and diabetes - www.davita.com. That is where I got the following from.

    Pregnancy and CKD
    While it is uncommon for a woman on dialysis to become pregnant, studies indicated that between 1992 and 2003 from 1% to 7% of patients did. A national Registry of Pregnancy in Dialysis Patients is maintained to track and study these events and outcomes. About 50% of the babies born to women on dialysis survived. There was evidence that longer dialysis time (16-24 hours per week) helped improve infant survival. Many of the babies were born premature, which was attributed to high blood pressure. Many chronic kidney disease patients have high blood pressure, which tends to get worse during pregnancy.

    A survey of dialysis units listed by the Health Care Finance Administration regarding pregnancy in dialysis patients showed that infant survival for a woman on dialysis was higher than previously thought. The survey yielded the following results:

    During a four-year period two percent of woman in their childbearing years became pregnant (2.4% were hemodialysis patients, 1.1% were peritoneal dialysis patients)

    Of those who were on dialysis before they became pregnant, 40.2% (out of 184 pregnancies) of the infants survived
    Of those who started dialysis after they became pregnant 73.6% (out of 57 pregnancies) of the infants survived
    Infant survival was greater for women who received dialysis more than 20 hours per week
    Complications for the women included: high blood pressure in 79% of pregnancies, hypertensive crisis in five women, hematocrit lower than 30 for 93.1% of patients, transfusions for 26% of those treated with erythropoietin and 77% of those not treated and, in two cases, death
    Complications for the surviving infants included: premature birth in 84% of women who conceived after beginning dialysis, congenital anomalies in 11 infants and long-term medical problems for 11 infants

    (http://www.davita.com/articles/ckd/index.shtml?id=132)

    I hope this is helpful to you.

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    thank you so much for taking the time out to gather that information. I appreciate your help and support.

    I have an appt. Monday with another ob/gyn, which is next door to my nephrologist and high risk as well. I will keep all posted. Again, thanks!

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    Hi Pretty in Pink,

    I know this is a difficult time for you and you're feeling like you're at the crossroads - but if I may be so bold - to say this to you. Medicine has come such a long way and doctors can monitor high-risk pregnancies better than they ever have before. My heart says choose LIFE, I know God would choose LIFE...and I would be willing to bet on the next sunrise - that you will be a lot more at peace about all of this when you find a set of doctors that are willing to work together as a team and help keep you and your precious child safe through these next few months.

    Life isn't easy, and these are decisions noone wants to be forced with - however, I would like you to know that we have prayer warriors up here that will keep you, your baby and your family's well-being prayed up in God's Hands. If your doctors are willing to help you monitor these next few months; I have a feeling this new life that breathes within you now - will be yet another wonderful miracle for you to love and nurture.

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family. Stay safe, stay informed, pray...and if you don't pray - allow us to pray for you.

    Thanks for sharing with us - we want you to be safe, be healthy, be happy and most of all to be at peace with the decisions you make.

    Much love,
    Browneyedgirl
    "I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." - unknown

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