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Thread: ATTN; THE FIGHT OF MY LIFE....PLEASE ALL READ

  1. #1
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    Default ATTN; THE FIGHT OF MY LIFE....PLEASE ALL READ

    ops:
    HI ALL,
    I can only apologise for all the past times recently I have had a health issue and could not be here....thought I had it under control and then something else would happen.

    WEll as ALL of you KNOW I am the ONE WHO ALWAYS SAYS KEEP ON FIGHTING and NEVER EVER GIVE UP....

    I must sadly tell all of you that I am now IN THE FIGHT FOR MY LIFE !!!
    AND FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE BEING IN VIET NAM I WILL ADMIT

    I AM SCARED TO DEATH !!!! ops: :shock:

    MY LUPUS has gone FULL BLOWN, my kidneys are slowly not working properly,my heart has put me in the hospital several times in the past few months and now my liver is acting up again.

    There is NOTHING I PERSONALLY can do except try to keep fighting and give it to the DOCTORS AND GOD !!!!!

    I AM SORRY To tell you this for I have always tried to be the VOICE OF POSOTIVENESS AND WELLNESS.

    _Please forgive me for not being to here for you recently, but now I am forced to have to put certain things in order

    My GORGEOUS BEAUTFULL HEARTED WIFE is always FIRST IN MY LIFE
    Then comes me and my health problems and then everything else.

    It has KILLED me to have to give up a chance back at my musical career to now go into the FIGHT OF MY LIFE AND FOR MY LIFE !!!!

    I LOVE THE BLUES FOR...I AM THE BLUES

    I sincerly care for each on of you and hope you are all well,

    I have done well since being diagnosed in 1989 but it seems age and not living such a pure life while I was young has taken it's toll and is now making me pay for my stoopid choices and ways.

    GOD alone knows how this will end and with his help I will win this fight..but what was once always manageable for me has now gotten so far out of control I do not know if I am coming or going.

    We will soon find out....

    I promise to be on the board as much as possible as I go through this fight which is taking it's toll on me everyday more and more.

    What kept me going was always a STRONG MIND and willingness to fight, but age and being so tired of always fighting has put me in the hands of doctors and GOD now.

    DO NOT feel sorry for me ....for my life has been a good one and is NOT OVER just.....a mess and beating the he11 out of me right now and I felt as if I owe you all an explination.

    I CARE FOR YOU ALL......and PROMISE TO CONTINUE TO FIGHT and come on as often as I can which will be more than usual but I can NO LONGER promise GOOD NEWS..or that POSOTIVE STATE OF MIND.

    I am tired and now need you......and know I can look to my friends here for that help.
    That is one thing I know is that we can not do this alone we need FRIENDS.!!!!!

    But this world has made us all go into our own corner and shut the door for we are all afraid of whom we talk to or tell something....
    Well if ther is one thing I know is that we all need LOVE and we all need a
    FRIEND ..so please take that chance and make a friend....it makes this all so much easier.

    SINCERLY YOURS
    StJames
    MY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO BE AS GOOD A PERSON AS MY DOG ALREADY THINKS I AM.....

  2. #2
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    James, you have been and always will be a warrior! And you know you are in the hearts and the prayers of everyone here. Take that strength you have shared with all of us so often, and focus it on winning this battle with lupus! You are surrounded by so many people and animals who love you, let that love be a warm and healing balm for your body and your soul. You can come through this - I believe you will.

    Hugs, and many prayers - for you and your beautiful wife.

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    James , I can only wish you all the very best in this battle.
    As for your wife, I can really relate to what she is going through, as beside the lupus that my husband has, he has also had a battle with cancer and for the moment all is well there, but we live from day to day with the knowledge that it could recurr.
    My thoughts are also with her, as it is at these times that you wish you could change things and also help, but as there is little you can physically do, I always feel so useless and I am sure that she can relate to this.
    All the very best.
    Jo[/b]

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    St. James, you are in my thoughts and prayers as well. Get better soon, friend...love, Kathy

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    Hi St James

    Please know that we are all praying for you and that you are in our thoughts...

    God bless you...

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    ops:
    HI and Thank you all

    I spent yesterday at and ended up staying overnight again at the hospital.

    They flushed my KIDNEY's several times and gaveme bags of water to keep flushing them alomg with some nasty anitbiotics that made me violently ill.

    Still this am I could not urinate and will have to go back tomorrow morning to go through the same thing again.

    They have tripled my LUPUS meds,and are carefully watching that my liver does NOT come out of remission....I was already given LAST RIGHTS for my liver due to liver cancer in 89 when I was diagnosed with SLE.....

    The HEP C is active but manageable....it seems to all be coming down to when back in mid December when my UNION I retired from changed insurance providors and they would NOT give me most of my meds as NONE said anything about LUPUS and since you are not dealing with DOCTORS but CS REPS who go by a book it took 7 weeks for me to get my maintainence meds which put me in a MAJOR FULL BLOWN BREAKOUT

    THEY WILL PAY BIG $$$$ should I live or not for this....as they were told it was a LIFEOR DEATH situation and I needed those meds to stay alive but they still put me through the BS and red tape and mademy DOCTOR FIGHT along with my attorney FIGHT to get me my meds and they were told then I was already coming after them....now I am coming BUT NOT ALONE !!!!!!

    I have always taken care of my wife and I will ensure she has enough money to live as she pleases if this takes me and if it doesn;t well then I'll get a bit less but THEY WILL PAY so NO ONE has to go through that BS again to get medications that KEEP THEM ALIVE !!!!!!

    I am very tired and sick to my stomach and my eyes are very blurry....

    So I must go now as I am expecting a DR"s call and do not want to tie up the line.....but as promised I will keep in touch.

    IF anyone can get ahold of SUZ please ask her to call me....

    Thanks to all
    I'm fighting ,but I am just so tired....... ops:

    LOVE YOU ALL

    St James 8)
    MY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO BE AS GOOD A PERSON AS MY DOG ALREADY THINKS I AM.....

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    Hello stJames,

    I never chatted with you prior to this but I can definetely feel your hurt, frustation and tiredness through your story. I want to encourage you to keep your faith, pray for strength, and only focus on your health right now. The serenity prayer if very fitting for you now: God grant me the courage to accept the things I can not change; courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

    You will only magnitude your health issues stressing yourself out with what the union did, once you're better you can handle them and as my grandparents also said, "there's someone who sits high and looks low and does not sleep or slumber". God sees and hears all and fights on our behalf even when we don't realize it.

    Two months after i was diagnosed with lupus, while i was pregnant, i had to deliver my baby early (which he did not survive) and two days later i was on dialysis. I also had heart problems and pleurisy.

    I got off dialysis in December and I although my lupus is still very active, i am not as bad off as I was. GOD is still in the healing business and answers prayers.

    Don't give up! Be encouraged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    PRETTI IN PINK....

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss of such a young angel....

    You're right I have to focus on getting better not fighting anyone or being mad !!!!!

    It's usually I who is giving the advice, as I have been lucky enough to maintain and keep this at bay for a long time....but I guess all along I knew this day would come eventually.

    I am off to the hospital again to be flushed though I did manage to have some kidney function this am...just a few drops but that is more than what I did have.

    I just need to know my liver is ok and today I'll find out if the ENZYME numbers have dropped or at least stayed where they were.
    That is what worries me the most..... for if the liver cancer awakens I doubt I cn go through that again and I am so far at the bottom of the transplant list I'll never get one in time.

    Then after all that is under control or when I am strong enough they can check my heart to see if I need more work done or is it the LUPUS constricting my arteries again....if that's the problem they will have to do a MAJOR bypass this time.

    Thanks for the kind words....I needed that.

    Well I am off to the hospital for another day of water and discomfort.

    Sincerly
    St James 8)
    MY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO BE AS GOOD A PERSON AS MY DOG ALREADY THINKS I AM.....

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    you're welcome. A few drops are better than no drops. I remember when i was in the hospital and i went days w/out being able to use the bathroom. I hope your treatments work well for you and hang in there.

    I will continue to pray for you and your family.

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    James, I hope it never comes to the point of needing a transplant, but if it does, with the new techniques available today, it is possible to have a liver transplant from a live donor like a sibling or even a spouse with the same blood type. So you wouldn't necessarily have to wait on the UNOS list. A lady I work with just had a live donor liver transplant last year and she is doing very well now, so it can happen!

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