You should not be ashamed to be afraid, or to feel angry, or to grieve. You HAVE lost something - both of you have. You've lost that feeling of immortality that most people have at your age. You deserve to grieve for that loss. But you should know that many, many people live successful, long, productive lives with lupus. I'm pretty new to this diagnosis myself, and am still coming to terms with what I can and can't do now. I belong to this forum, but I also belong to a support group in my area. Some of the people in that group have lived for many decades with lupus, and are often symptom-free. There are many on this forum like that as well - I know you'll hear from them. You're a medical student, so you have no shortage of access to good information. But do check out the Lupus Foundation of America website. There's good information there, and a good reading list. The more information you and your fiance are, the better equipped you'll be to manage the ups and downs of this crazy disease. It's a moving target - no doubt about it. But there are things to do to prepare yourself - and to spare yourself. I wish you both the best of luck. Please check in here often. It's a great place to find support, information and sometimes just to cry or vent. Welcome to the "Family".
"If you trust Google more than you trust your doctor than maybe it's time to switch doctors."