Keeping a balance...
How do you keep the balance between your family and taking care of someone who is very sick?
I have a schedule that I try to stick to when it comes to visiting my mom, that allows me a little time to try to keep up on my life and family....well yesterday is one of my days to be with her. My husband's aunt and cousins threw me a surprise birthday party so I didn't get to the nursing home to see mom until after 6:30. Needless to say, I had 9 missed calls on my phone (I accidently walked off and left it on the kitchen counter) and one very miffed mom when we got there. She asked me if I would come tonight because I got there so late last night and I said sure.
Well....my husband's car is stuck in our garage because of a huge snow drift he hasn't fully dealt with yet, so we've been car pooling to and from work. So, he's got a light day and will probably get off of work early so now he is throwing a fit because I told my mom I would come and see her tonight.
It's so frustrating, I don't know how to keep the balance between it all!
I can't be called an expert
I can't even imagine how tough this is for you. It may sound trite -- but don't forget to take of yourself during all this. It's what you hear all the time about the sandwich generation -- caught between caring for parents and kids/other family members simultaneously
I know that your mom wants your attention and I understand that -- having been the sick person. And I don't know that any amount of explaining to her or your husband will make them understand the amount of stress it's all putting on you. But wishfullly you can.
Hopefully some of the other people here have something more insightful than I to add here. Just know that there will be times you can't please everyone -- and that doesn't make you a bad person.
I very rarely take time to take care of myself. I was sick with bronchitis and I cracked my ribs coughing and I finally took some time to get well last week, but now everyone is bent out of shape because the laundry is not done, the house is dirty and I wasn't able to go see my mom for almost a week - and they still are griping because I'm still trying to get well. I'm much better, but still have a little cough and cracked ribs that are healing, but slowly.
Maybe I'm going through a "me" syndrome...yanno the whole 'WHAT ABOUT ME' thing. Who knows! I wish I had a brother or sister to help me out with this!