I was a single mother in the 70's, and it was a crazy mixed up time. I'm not sure how old this man is, and if you or your husband (?) feel comfortable talking directly to this man....it would provide an opportunity for you to get acquainted and see what's really going on around that family. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but there are men who live by how their fathers behaved, sad but true. It's a shame that this father doesn't value himself or his family in such a way; that he truly is contributing to his son's future by his behaviors today. It sounds sad to me. What he says in his own home may be his business, but what he says on public school grounds is EVERYBODY's business....and EVERY parent has the RIGHT to hold him accountable for his behavior. The school needs to know this behavior is not acceptable to you or for any of your family members.
I have brothers, and yes; they all want to be tough and rumble at that age....and we know they'll get plenty of exposure in too many places we can't control; however - I felt so strongly about preserving for my son, an environment that was good, clean....and so much fun. There is nothing in this world more worthy of fighting for....than for the health and well-being of your child. There is not a soul standing on this earth that I wouldn't stop from corrupting the morals of my family....(can you tell, I'm more than a little passionate about this subject?). I suppose it comes from watching so many parents who dropped their kids off at little league, soccer...or whatever sport; so they could have their "own" private time and were never interested in participating in these events. I can't tell you how many boys we had over, who would have done ANYTHING to have a place to belong with friends....who were nice, encouraging, appreciative...and yes, even caring. I cherish that my son was able to bring his friends over after practice, and play ping pong, or go swim at the YMCA..... (yes, and I did keep my job). Employers were a lot more lenient in those days.
Go with what your heart knows best, listen to that still small voice inside of you.....you will do the right thing. Perhaps not now, but down the road the kids will be able to see and know for themselves that the choices you have made and the actions you've taken were in their best interest...we as parents have the right and even more so; the responsibility to provide an environment that keeps our children safe (as we possibly can).
Wow, I better put a lid on this.....I'm ready to stand on a soap-box somewhere and start preachin'.....whew looooooorrrddd!! Somebody stop me, now (smile).
I wish you the best Marycain, keep us posted.
"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." - unknown