First of all, you are welcome here and this site was set up specifically for people to be able to vent, ask questions or just connect. So, you are not in the wrong place :lol:
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I went through what you are going through with my daughter! It was so hard to see her so sick and to know, every day, that I was losing her to this horribe disease and all of its symptoms which just wreaked havoc on her poor fragile body!!!
Like your mother, she tried very hard to lead a normal life (like going to work, going to college) and I found myself angry at her for doing too much and making her symptoms worse. It took a lot of therapy for me to understand that "She had to do it, for HER OWN SANITY, she had to do it!!"
We cannot tell those who are suffering how to live their lives. Their aches and pains and sickness is with them 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. That is all that they know from morning until night. They need to feel that they can do something, that they are still able to be productive - or else they will lose their minds.
You must support your mother. Please try to do that, it is so important right now! Do not be angry with her, do not lecture her. Be supportive, knowing that she is trying, the best way that she knows how, to be as normal as she can for as long as she can!"
Help her to do that by loving and supporting her like you always have!
My heart goes out to you because I know, all too well, the kind of fear that you are living in. It is a pervasive sadness!
Now, about your symptoms....It sounds as if you need to ask your doctor to start running some tests. Your current stress is not helpful to your physical well being at all! I would suggest that you look into a LUPUS support group in your area. Perhaps you can even attend with your mother. In the meantime, we are here for you any time that you want to talk! I will keep you and your mother in my prayers.
Hope to talk to you soon :P