I was looking at past entries to see what others have gone through. I have always questioned Lupus for me. The main reason is because the doctors did so often.
For years I have had an ANA level around 1340. I don't know if that means anything to anyone out there. My doctor at the time said that the normal ANA is supposed to be 40 and I was 1300% above that. That is where it all started for me. I went from one specialist to another. I finally gave up. It was crazy to have so many different opinions and diagnosis.
Here I am years later and I swear I am still dumbfounded! I was given a confirmed diagnosis, yet I am still so frustrated. Just going back and reading what everyone has gone through and how closely their situations mirror my own. No wonder so many of us question ourselves. My husband is furious with me because I will not go back to the doctor. I cancelled all my appointments. When I was having a bad flare I went to the doctor and they did their tests.
The tests showed fluid around the heart and lungs. My doctor sent me to the lab to run more tests. After one of the worst flares I have ever experienced all my lab work came back NORMAL. I was astonished! I asked about the ANA levels that have not been normal in years and was told they were fine. She never put me on any medication for the fluid, just Prevacid for a bleeding ulcer. She said she wanted to send me back to the hospital for another echocardiogram and lung x-ray. I made up my mind right then and there I was not going back. I will not answer the phone when the hospital calls nor from her office.
I might be very wrong in my thinking but this is what I have found out. One, those chest pains are not going to kill me. I have had all 8 symptoms of a heart attack and been in the hospital hooked up to their machines and all came out normal. Two, if I stay away from the doctors I perform so much better than when I am going every two weeks. My husband and I go round and round over this. He has even threatened to find a way to get into this support group and tell on me hoping I will be admonished into going back to the doctor.
Nothing is going to change my mind. I am not scared anymore, I am just sick of doctors!! I feel so much for all those who have been given the run around and have beat themselves up over this. LOL, the phone is ringing and guess who it is......
It is not possible to be worried while fully trusting in God.