RRRRR I HATE LUPUS!!!!!!!!!!!
RRRRRRR :evil: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted:
How I hate being in pain, I have such terrible leg and knee pain, neck pain and back pain. It's been so bad today that I can't even sit up for more than ten min before I have to lie down cause the pain gets so bad. Not to mention the fevers and oh new thing I am getting hot flashes. I know i'm to young to be getting menopause but boy I have to now sleep with a little fan beside me cause sometimes at night i have to turn it on.
ooo and my IBS is hating me right now and the chest pain seems to be getting more often and worse. I'll be seeing my rheumy and GP at the end of the week.
I can't even walk cause of the knee pain so i've been stuck in my room with my mom bringing me up dinner and such.
Then tonight I tried to go downstairs and yup I fell. Thank God it was the first two steps that lead to the landing before the long steps to the downstairs so I didn't fall down a whole flight just two stairs.
But of course I fell on my right side and banged my shoulder HARD onto the stairs. So now my shoulder is swollen up and sore, like I really needed another pain.
I can't believe it, than I get axciety attacks because I had worked sooooooooo hard this summer ot loose some of that crappy 95 pouds that I had gained being on predisone and now i'm getting axciety attacks that I'll gain the thirty pounds I lost back because I can hardly move!
Then today I get a letter saying that I've been denied a second time for disability and now I'll have to go to court. It already took the stupid governement almost a year to decide that I wasn't diabled and now i'm told that it can take up to a year to get a hearing date!!!!!!
I guess when it rains it pours! :roll:
I'm in a giant flare up and I am hating ever min of it. It's like everything comes at the worst time.
Good thing is about having a boyfriend long distance is that he can't see me like this and I haven't told him that I can't walk right now and that i'm using a cane/wheelchair at times. I know i'll have to tell him eventually if it doesn't get better before the end of Nov (when i'm seeing him next hopefully) but i'm hopeing that this stupid flare will be over by then.
He just tends to worry to much that I don't need him worring about me.
I hate how this disease takes everything away and leaves you feeling like you've lost everything. I can't plan anything anymore, I couldn't even go to my best friend's grandfather's funeral because of not being able to walk and go down the stairs.
Anyway sorry of the long rant I just had to get it out ops:
SLE Lupus. Fibro, IBS, RA\
Matt's Brown Eyed Girl!
"I'm not broken, I'm antique; a little worn out but still beautiful if not more so because of it."