It sounds like you are having such a hard time. It hurts to be scared and upset and feel like you're alone with such a big burden.
Depression can be a very serious problem in lupus - first, because the disease itself affects how our brains work, and second, because of the effects of living with chronic pain and illness. Almost everyone diagnosed with lupus will struggle with depression at some point in the illness - it sounds like you might be at that point right now. It's a vicious circle because depression makes it harder to cope with pain, and living with constant pain can trigger depression. Please understand that the sadness and feeling of isolation isn't something you bring on yourself by being in a bad mood or not trying to be optimistic all the time - it's a fundamental change in your brain chemistry caused by the illness. When it happens, you need to talk to your doctor because treatments are available that can help. You let your doctor know about the physical effects of this disease, but it's also important to talk about the emotional effects, which in many ways are even harder on you.
It sounds like your fiancee is a very caring person, and I'm glad he's concerned about your coughing. You may have coughed hard enough to rupture some little blood vessels in your throat - this is fairly common during a hard coughing spell, and doesn't mean the blood is coming from your lungs. But it still needs to be checked out right away - plus you need something for the cough. If you can't get in touch with your rheumie, do you have a primary care doctor to call?
I'm sorry I wasn't online last night to reply to you - please post today and let us know how you are doing.