I hope that you will be able to find some help from your doctor's office - has your family doctor or dermatologist said anything about his getting the flu shot? Marycain has provided you with very good information. Saysusie and others I'm sure, will be by to share their words of wisdom about flu shots and their experiences. I can only speak from my own experience, that I always have to have blood tests done prior to any flu shot I get.
I'm with you littlered, I try to find a break in my lupus activity where I can tolerate whatever comes after the shot. Like you, I would much rather suffer a little now - than be in the hospital later.
I hope you are able to find good advice. Take care -
"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." - unknown