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Thread: Relationship advice...

  1. #1
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    Question Relationship advice...

    Hey everyone, I have a question for the loopies that aren't have been Ina relation while living with SLE. I recently started dating a great guy. He serious is my soul mate thus far. Anyhow, how do I tell him I have lupus without scaring him off. He knows I use to go to the gym and wants me to start going with him. I can't even clean the house with out being tired and super site and in pain. He is also asking why I take the meds I do. I just explained them and Blamed them in my sciatic nurve. His mother is a lawyer and his sites is a doctor. If I do tell him I'm afraid of what his sister will say. Whether she will talk positively or negatively. My other issue is we are intimate but haven't had sex yet due to the fact my period has not stopped for well... 28 days this month. He said he didn't care about it but I'm afraid he is going to ask. Next issue is kids. He wants more. So how do I go about this convo let alone getting pregnant? Any advice would be very much appreciated.



    Thanks kindly, A

  2. #2
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    it is hard ...... but you need to bring up the conversation.
    ask him if he knows anything about auto immune disorders.

    I am separated because of my mental changes bought on by lupus.
    I am seeing a new "friend", and she also has medical issues.
    we met at a support group.

    I hear the same issue lots of times ......
    we need to be honest, or where will our relationship really go?

    build it on trust and honesty.
    it is not an easy step .... but if it is meant to be ... it will survive.
    When you're stressed, You eat Ice cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS.

  3. #3
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    Steve is right, be honest about it, communication is very important to a relationship. You need to talk it out.

    As Steve said if it's meant to be it will.
    Good Thoughts and Hugs

  4. #4
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    Thank you for the replies.

    I meet with my doctor on Monday the 4th. I'm going to wait to see what he has to say and see what I'm blood works says before talking to my SO. I'm still being diagnosed but I'm also a nurse. I've seen my
    Blood work and know which markers to look for and am aware if the dx list. Not self diagnosing but the doctor did pretty much tell me without saying the word lupus that I had SLE.

    If my doctor does confirm it then I will talked to him that week. I am staying over at his house Monday night after my appt so depending on how the night goes I might tell him then. It will be our first over night visit.

    With it being so early in the relationship, like two weeks should I tell him now? Or wait until we figure out where it will go? I just don't want to tell him all about it before we have made our minds completely up. I'm just so ify about telling people. I even started a new job and have not told then anything yet either.

    A

  5. #5
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    Everybody has different opinions on this. I believe that you should be upfront about your health,that way you are giving him the choice to continue the relationship with all the facts. Plus, that relieves the stress off of you. Think about it, wouldn't you want to know if the situation was reversed? Who knows,maybe he has something to tell you and this will be the chance to get everything out on the table. I'm sure if nothing else,he will respect your honesty. Good luck!

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