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  1. #1
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    Default Hi..and advice please...

    Hello

    I am brand new to the site so nice to meet you all.

    The reason I am posting is that I am dating the most fantastic and beautiful woman...I am in love with her (not told her yet but am sure she has guessed) we are serious about a long term relationship / possibly marriage and I couldn't be happier about that.

    She has SLE and that doesn't make the slightest difference to me. I have read up about it but have no experience... I adore her and want to show love and support but want to be sensitive and understanding without overdoing it and putting her off.

    I think she is having a 'flare' (is that right?) at present and for the last few days and it breaks my heart she is unwell. I want to show that I care. I don't know whether to text or call to say that I hope she is feeling better or just to be patient and wait until she gets back to me..

    I really don't want to screw this up. She means the world to me.

    Does this make any sense? Any advice please?

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Default

    hi Rival,
    and welcome.

    it is always a pleasure to hear that someone cares enough to find out more.

    thank you for trying to understand.

    please read a few of the older posts .....
    they are our history with lupus.

    please also use the search function ....
    it is great for isolating particular words.

    a couple of threads that may interest you are ....
    http://forum.wehavelupus.com/showthr...e-spoon-theory

    http://forum.wehavelupus.com/showthr...-CFS-Fibro-%85

    please feel free to ask as many questions as you need.
    we will try to help you understand.
    When you're stressed, You eat Ice cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS.

  3. #3
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Raval View Post
    Hello

    I am brand new to the site so nice to meet you all.

    The reason I am posting is that I am dating the most fantastic and beautiful woman...I am in love with her (not told her yet but am sure she has guessed) we are serious about a long term relationship / possibly marriage and I couldn't be happier about that.

    She has SLE and that doesn't make the slightest difference to me. I have read up about it but have no experience... I adore her and want to show love and support but want to be sensitive and understanding without overdoing it and putting her off.

    I think she is having a 'flare' (is that right?) at present and for the last few days and it breaks my heart she is unwell. I want to show that I care. I don't know whether to text or call to say that I hope she is feeling better or just to be patient and wait until she gets back to me..

    I really don't want to screw this up. She means the world to me.

    Does this make any sense? Any advice please?

    Thanks
    hello, you're really very sweet..what I feel I have to advise you not to give too much weight to the thing because you'll only feel worse. you should be his lifeline, his support, his door to the "real" world. when he happened to be sick like her, so much hated compassion, worth of others. You try to be present without asking, without making her feel sick! her out, take her to dinner, to the movies, to the park, wherever you want! but avoids compassion, it's really sad to see the people around looking at you differently.
    be yourself and make it feel more special as you describe. I now feel very well and I realized that to feel good you have to be convinced we can do it. do not make her feel different and think positive!

    sorry for my bad English !

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