I had just mentioned on another post that I've been waiting two years to get my hearing for disability-originally it was suppose to be last December but due to the shutdown everything became backed up. This afternoon I'd literally just cleared my full voicemail box & my lawyers called telling me I have a court date!
I have flopped back & fourth through these two years from anger, devastation, denial, acceptance & everything in between. But now knowing its really a possibility my heart is racing a thousand miles per minute! I'm trying to keep myself balanced-I know I have far more evidence to support my disability claim, but I also know that things don't always pan out the way they should. This last year has been rough finically, really rough. I've had to forgo my routine appointments, testing & even my medications are starting to get the back burner. It's been a dreaded trip to the mailbox to fetch the piling past due medical bills. In my head I know we've made it thus far, barely, but we have-that if this doesn't go through we'll be ok....but in another part of my mind I know how desperately we need it. How luxurious it would seem to be able afford a prescription and a gallon of milk without having to rob the barely filled change jar. To be able to give something back, contribute to my family. To ease my husbands mind that has unselfishly foregone so much to keep me as healthy as I can possibly be. The man who has suffered through hole-y pants, torn jackets, hacked haircuts as I learned to cut his hair just so he could sit by me in the hospital. The 6'4 man eating a Walmart brand can of beef ravioli every single day for lunch at work, just so our son could play baseball.
I know this is a lot of rambling, and it might sound like its sitting on the pity pot-but I'm not. I am so utterly thankful for everything we've been able to count as a blessing. It just feels like this is a moment-the moment when it all comes down to the second. Something that can help change some of the last few years of struggles, but that it's still really out of my control. I've done all that I've been told to do, collected all I've been told that is needed, yet I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants.
I'm relived to have gotten a date, yet terrified all at once. It's not only finding out whether our ship (okay our dingy lol) has come in, but it's also standing before others and being openly judged. Everything being scrutinized, me being analyzed....what if I freeze? What if I make a mistake?
Maybe it's just the nerves talking.
Has anyone else gone through a hearing-can anyone give me an idea what to expect through a claimants eyes? Any advice on the dos & donts?