Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Errand Girl

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    131
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 40 Times in 33 Posts

    Default Errand Girl

    Seems like lately I am becoming errand girl for my friends and neighbors. This is a role I can't take on as I never know how I am going to feel from day to day, moment to moment. I try to express the fact that I don't feel well and that I have enough of my own errands to do, but people just don't get it. I would like to keep the few friends I have, but on the other hand I feel like I am being taken advantage of. How can I let them know in a nice way that I am not available to take them places and run errands for them?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    pinjarra, western australia
    Posts
    2,901
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    1,387
    Thanked 1,610 Times in 1,102 Posts

    Default

    sometimes it is hard ......
    but we need to stand up for ourselves.

    you need to be your own advocate,
    with doctors and friends.
    if they have never experienced something ......
    then it is outside of there realm of understanding.

    it is not there fault ..... they just do not understand, so need to be told.

    how you do this is up to you, and there is no easy answer,
    different people react differently to the same type of answer.

    i wish you well, it is not easy, but for your healths sake ,,,,
    find a balance you can live with
    cyber hugs
    When you're stressed, You eat Ice cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to steve.b For This Useful Post:

    Saysusie (03-06-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    135
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 38 Times in 28 Posts

    Default

    We've just posted very similar threads!
    I'm ok about telling people I can't do things for them, but I struggle with not wanting to do things that other people like to do. I still want friends, my time is very limited and I have to pick and choose. Some people find that hard to deal with.
    I think a big part of the struggle is that we wish we could do all this stuff and having to say we can't over and over again is like a parrot telling us how sick we are.
    Being honest is the only way, but like I say, we just posted a similar question...so the struggle is ongoing!
    I think the people that love us will stay and those that don't will stop asking.
    Jx

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Jaynie For This Useful Post:

    Saysusie (03-06-2014)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    131
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 40 Times in 33 Posts

    Default

    It's just hard for me to say no, and when I do say no I feel guilty for not being able to help them. Also, on the spur of the moment, when they ask me to do something, it's difficult for me to form an answer with finesse. Just plain no seems so cold.

  7. #5
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    135
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 38 Times in 28 Posts

    Default

    I understand. I really REALLY understand! Thing is...who is going to take care of you if YOU don't? Who will thank you for being all used up and having nothing left for yourself?
    I have 5 kids, so I have often used them as my reason to hold back on spending all my 'spoons' on others. (If you're unfamiliar with the 'spoons' theory I'm sure someone with an aptitude for links will post one?!)
    It's something I worry about every single day...who am I letting down? Who am I disappointing this time?
    I pretend I'm someone else sometimes. Someone who is protecting me from everybody else!

    You have every single right to say no....EVEN if the only reason is because you can't be bothered!!

    "I'm sorry, I have plans". Is my 'go to' answer...

    Jx

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Amarillo, Texas
    Posts
    477
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    34
    Thanked 138 Times in 112 Posts

    Default

    I know exactly how you are feeling. My sister takes advantage of the fact I can't so no to her, I give and give to her and she never helps me. Recently I have 4 dogs 1 is a foster that she brought, she is a female pit bull but is female dog aggressive. A couple weeks ago my sister informed me she was moving out of her place and is not taking her dog. The one I rescued and raised, she is a pit bull and also female dog aggressive. Guess who gets the dog, me! She is taking advantage of the fact I can't say no to her and the dog. Before she signed any paper work I went to her begging and crying for her not to move until the summer, this is going to make me sicker. She just gave me a cold look saying she was doing it anyway. I have to constantly keep the dogs apart and fix my fence so my sister's dog wont jump it. She wont help me at all prepare for this dog, on top of this she is leaving for a trip a week before she moves! I never get breaks or vacations and she is soooo arggggh. It's just me now, no one else. My mom has moved for a job so it's just me.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •