Well, I am on the cusp of deciding whether to fight for getting disability (which I know my body needs), or to go back to work as a teacher (which I know my head wants).

I don't think there's a happy medium in terms of going back part time because I know it will be mostly the same stress. I still have to get up and get ready which I'm pooped after that. I still have to deal with a demanding principal which really poops and stresses me out.

Anyways, can anyone help me by telling me about your experiences with the horrible decision of your body forcing you to not be able to work anymore? I'm so depressed about this. I don't want to be someone who doesn't work. I just want to be normal. You would think I would have come to terms with this since I have been denying my diagnosis for the last 20 years.

I was able to get in 9 years of full time teaching, 2 years of full time school to finally finish my degree (part time before that) and 1 year of full time teachers college. So that's 12 years of full time and now I've pooped.... Not literally lol.

How can I accept this with grace? What now? What do you tell people? ESP people who don't understand health problems? How do you come to terms with this in your own mind?

Thank you to all you amazing people out here on this site. You are all so uplifting and kind and supportive. I really appreciate you!!!!!!