Hey everyone,

I know that when I found out I had lupus, the scariest part was telling my husband. You see, my mother also has SLE. Her husband, my stepfather, did not handle it well. Long story short, he was getting narcotic pain pills off the streets, overmedicating her, and cheating on her, in addition to complaining to all his friends and everybody we know how difficult his life is and how much he takes care of her. I know my husband is nothing like this, but it still petrified me. I worried that he would want to leave me. I worried that he wouldnt be able to handle it if I had a severe flare. I worried he would cheat with someone lively and well. I worried he would play the "poor me" card, like my stepfather. Thankfully, my husband did none of these things. He is very supportive. However, not having any prior knowledge of lupus, he underestimated the seriousness of the disease. After attending a lupus walk earlier this month, he understood much better after listening to a woman speak about how much lupus affected her life. So he understands now how serious this is. And yet...I still have trouble telling him that I really am tired, that my joints hurt, etc. because I dont want to seem like I just want attention or want sympathy.I told him many times that I am so glad I was married when I got my diagnosis because I truly think if I was single, I would fully believe no one would choose to be with someone with this disease. Lupus complicates relationships sooooo much. How does it affect your relationship? Marriage? sex life?