My boyfriend of 4 years tested positive on an ANA test yesterday that was done due to an inflamed retina. We are going to meet with a rheumatologist (?) tomorrow to discuss lupus. His mom has lupus, and 5 of the people on his mom's side have been diagnosed with autoimmune diseases. He is still really young and looks to be in great shape, but he has a lot of joint pain (sometimes so bad he can't walk).

I'm very afraid on the effect this might have on him psychologically. He told me if he was officially diagnosed that I shouldn't stay with him; I know all he can think about is that he will end up like his mom (who is always in major pain and is heavily medicated daily) and his future is gone. I will never leave him, but I also don't know what to expect if we do find out he has lupus. What can I do to help relieve some of the stress? How can I convince him that I still love him just as much? What are the chances of him ending up unable to do day to day things because of pain? Will raising children be difficult? We both work full time so financially we're okay, but what are the chances he could end up unable to work? He doesn't want to tell anyone yet, since he has no official diagnosis, which is why I came for support here...