Looking for insight from any of you...

I recently developed edema in selective areas of my hands, joint pain in several fingers, unable to use my hands at times. I have very mild reynauds as well. Extreme fatigue, even with lots of sleep, no rashes, mild intermittent chest pain for months, currently have swollen lymph nodes, Intermittant sensitivity to light and noise, extreme reactions to medication, extreme reactions to insect bites since childhood (feels like the flu and I have to sleep for like 14 hrs), dry eyes/mouth, brain fog (so much so, I misspelled my username when I registered and now I'm stuck with it, doh!), joint over elasticity since childhood regular migraines (worse with stress) since childhood and muscle weakness. I had neck surgery in april and everything has gotten worse and more reactive since then. There is a family history of autoimmune disease but not lupus. I've previously had sinus tachycardia and had an extreme reaction to cytomegalovirus where I couldn't move I was so exhausted and had such extreme meningitis type headaches that a spinal tap was done (neg). Recent blood work was negative for lupus markers but sed rate was not done. Also neg for arthritis and RA.

I'm 37. History of one miscarriage, three successful pregancies (symptoms not present during pregnancies) Any insights? Suggestions? Doc thinks I might have lupus even without Ana positive ...I just want answers so I can effectively treat it. Help?