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Thread: all part of "you don't look sick"

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  1. #1
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    Default all part of "you don't look sick"

    Working for a center for independent living, I had the misconception that fellow coworkers would be a bit more understanding and sensitive to people with disabilities. I guess that only applies to consumers and not in office staff. My lupus has progressed to the point that I'm having stability and mobility issues, hence why I'm in the process of getting a service pup. In the meantime and until the pup is old enough and big enough to be a stability/mobility service dog, I really on my cane. I don't make an issue of having Lupus. I have it, I deal with it. I don't use it as an excuse. I work just as much as everyone else (sometimes more so) and have not asked for any reasonable accomodations even though I could. I don't talk about having lupus unless someone asks. I have lupus, lupus doesn't have me.

    That all being said, and maybe its just me, but I'm dumfounded about how insensitive my coworkers can be. "What's the deal with the cane?" is a common question. Or "what do you need THAT for?" Usually I'm a smart alek and tell them that it's part of my ensemble said with a stony face. When I reply "because I have lupus", the response is usually "yeah, so?" SO?????? Then informed, "well if you are hurting, you should go home". Honey, if I stayed home everytime I hurt, I'd never leave the house! I'm going to hurt regardless so I might as well be earning a paycheck! Lupus doesn't stop me from working, it just slows me down a bit and forces me to adapt and overcome which I do very well thank you very much!

    Oh how often do I get strange looks out in public as I go about my life with my trusty cane by my side. I'm sure it will only get worse when I have my service dog because afterall Ruziska- "YOU DON'T LOOK SICK!"

    So concludes my rant. Have a great lupie day everyone!
    "I'm going to get healthy or die trying"

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    meljette (08-14-2013)

  3. #2
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    {{{hug}}}
    If they don't get it, well theirs lost... We have to be positive in everything we do... When it is happening I move on...

  4. #3
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    "But you don't look sick..."
    "Yeah - and you don't LOOK like an insensitive jerk, but I guess we're both full of surprises..."....
    :-p

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    Ah, my dear coworkers... yesterday a very heavy shipment of forms arrived. 3 boxes worth. Who knew paper could weigh so much? Everyone walked right by it yesterday, including the boss- the only guy in the office. Same thing this morning. I asked for help and quickly tired of the lame excuses. So slowly, but surely, I unloaded and put away the contents of those 3 boxes BY MYSELF. I am very disappointed with my coworkers at the moment. NEXT TIME the orders can stay where they are. I've done my last good deed. Yeah, you guessed it- I'm paying for it as I write this. Shame on them.
    "I'm going to get healthy or die trying"

  6. #5
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    Hi!

    There seems to be no middle road with acquaintances and strangers. I hate to coin phrases but the people that don't matter mind and the people that don't mind matter. I used to wish I could jab these people and have them walk in my shoes for a day. "Oh, I get a little bit of that", "I know what you mean" and "I just push through it" are phrases you can spot coming a mile away.
    I also used to say that it wasn't their fault they didn't understand. You know what?....it doesn't matter if they don't understand, they should TAKE MY WORD FOR IT...value me as a person and look closely enough to realise that I'm not a class A wuss and that they would probably give up doing something way way before I would.
    Oh dear, I seem to be joining in your rant!! It's a very valid rant tho!!

    Unfortunately only we know how hard we work, what pain we suffer and how much willpower it takes us to have a life instead of giving up. Lucky them that they might never understand us....

    ((((((((Hugs!)))))))))

    Jx

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    debbie-b (07-18-2013)

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    Just yesterday, somebody ay work asked me how I was feeling, my answer was, " I am in a lot of pain." Her answer," but you look so good."
    She was working next to me, when a box I was lifting kind of scraped my arm( right where they usually draw blood) and instantly I had a bruise, the length of a finger, it was dark purple right away. When she saw that, she said, " crap, that box barely touched you" and I said, " Yeah I know, I could show you the rest of my body, it is covered with bruises, which I don't even remember getting". She then said, that she was sorry, for thinking that I wasn't really that sick.
    Today the same girl came by and asked if I needed help lifting something.

    Debbie
    I may have been dealt a bad hand, but at least I'm still playing with a full deck. ( most of the time anyway).

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