Im not playing this Lupus game today! Its my life and I should have choices! I used to have choices but now everyone else seems to have their say in what I do. If it isnt Dr's telling me what I must wear, where I am allowed to go, when I must eat so I can take the tablets they tell me I must take. It is my family, who I used to call every few days, now call me everyday to get a full health check, dont believe me if I say I am ok, go into full panic mode if I say I feel ill. Or my friends who complain at me for doing too much and then nagging that I dont see them more often. Or work being concerned about whether I am still able to work like I did before.
If that wasnt bad enough all of a sudden my immune system decides it hates me and doesnt want me to have any fun! The last 2 holidays (vacations for you americans out there) I have ended up in hospital because of it. I am supposed to be going away this weekend but my body hurts and the pain from the pluersy is making every breath exhausting.
Then we have the side effects from the drugs! The Steriods have made me gain 11kg (22 lbs!) since Easter!!! Yeah I know they keep me alive but I will be single forever if I get any fatter!!!!
So today I have decided I am not playing! I am going to pretend I dont have Lupus. I have not put sun screen on. I have not eaten. I have not taken any tablets. I am not gonna rest. I am gonna wear silly high shoes. I am gonna pretend that I am a normal girl in her mid twentys!
Yes I know this isnt wise but I have been doing all the right things and I still get sick so today Im not gonna!