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Thread: 22 years and still in denial.......

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    Default 22 years and still in denial.......

    Hi.
    I'm Jayne or jaynie if u so fancy. I've been I'll since I was 17 and I'm 40 this year. Posting on here is a big issue for me since I waited for a proper diagnosis forever and tho I can accept who I am I don't wear the lupus label with much grace! I'm looking forward to being in a space where I can admit all my stuff and talk freely about it with peeps who maybe 'get' where I'm coming from without worrying that people will think I'm just putting it on!
    Beware...I'm a talker LOL!!

    Xx

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    Hi Jaynie,

    Welcome to WHL.
    Denial is a funny thing, it's the bodies defence mechanism. I don't wear the Lupus label with grace either, but I excepted it.
    You have found the right place, where people know, where you are coming from, we do understand.
    Btw, we love talkers.

    Debbie
    I may have been dealt a bad hand, but at least I'm still playing with a full deck. ( most of the time anyway).

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    Jaynie (05-10-2013)

  4. #3
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    Hi
    Your reply made me cry...this is a big step to accepting that I'm ill. I go through phases (like most people do I imagine) of being able to ignore my symptoms or being completely overwhelmed by them. Denial is how I push myself, anything less than a struggle seems like a cop out, but I'm learning that I have a very skewed way of seeing things and that I'm not a 'bad' or 'lazy' person if I succumb (maybe i mean 'admit') to some bad times.
    Thank you for the lovely welcome.
    Jayniex

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    Welcome to the WHL family!we are really glad to have you.

    You are very normal. Dealing with a chronic illness is, in many ways, like dealing with a death. You go through the same stages of grief that you go through then. We all do it. There is no exact order or timetable but the steps are the same


    Denial


    Anger


    Bargaining



    Depression


    Acceptance


    Hope this helps a little
    Last edited by tgal; 05-09-2013 at 08:52 AM.
    Mari

    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    ~Winston Churchill~







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    Jaynie (05-10-2013)

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    Thanks!
    It's odd, I've been I'll for so long and then in denial so long that this has come as a bit of a blow! You'd think I'd know better?! I started attending counselling sessions regularly since Christmas and am finally beginning to see that the way I have 'coped' has meant that my feelings physically and emotionally have been locked away. This is my first step and I'm looking forward to the freedom from all the restrictions I have placed on myself. Maybe with some of the stress removed I'll start physically feeling a little better.

    Thanks for listening and replying!
    Jayniex

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    Hi there Jaynie,

    I am also new to this forum but I totally get how you feel. Lupus is a horrible illness to have and to live with , as it effects not just you but your whole family! I am glad to hear you are attending counselling sessions as I wish id done that when I was diagnosed! You do tend to lock away your feelings and emotions when you have lupus and just a word of advise , lupus is worse when you are stressed and worried. It has gotten so bad for me that I went to a psychiatrist recently as it was effecting me so badly that my specialist said it was attacking my brain and that lupus can make a person psychotic ! you need to speak to people and just let it all out as I did when I joined today and be honest about what you are feeling as I think on this site people don't judge ! well I hope not !

    you seem like you are in a bit of a depression at the moment , if I am mistaken then sorry ! didn't mean to put you in a spot that you are not !

    hope to chat more and keep your head help high !

    Fel
    Last edited by Fel; 05-10-2013 at 04:33 AM.

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    Jaynie (05-10-2013)

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