I don't like to post like this. I post very irregularly because I don't like to talk about my symptoms much at all. But I need to vent. And this is really somewhat tangential to lupus. I also have scoliosis that has been worsening with age. I recently turned 49 and have been menopausal for a year. As a result ive put on 15 pounds and the weight is pulling on my upper back such that it is in constant pain. I have tried aspirin and Tylenol and now my gut can't take either or any other anti-inflammatory med. so I'm just in pain all day and all night all the time.

I have a new (first) and beautiful grandbaby that I want to hold at every opportunity and this makes it very difficult. I try to work out but it's so hard to do that when my back is screaming obscenities at me.

At this moment I am in bed because I gave in and took aspirin last night which tore up my gut and now I am queasy. But lying down actually makes my back worse.

I know it isn't life threatening but right now it is life altering. I'm struggling to focus on my thesis and my home job as well.

Okay. Well. Thanks. I just needed to get that out of my system. I'm not looking for answers and I'm not looking for sympathy. I don't need hugs and whatnot. I just needed to "hear myself talk." If my momma could listen and understand I would just call her but dementia has taken that option from me.