I know, that you are not looking for sympathy, but you have mine anyway.
My scoliosis was discovered about 10 years ago, I never knew that I have it. I am 57 now, have Lupus, RA and Sjogrens, am slightly overweight and my upper back pain is really bad. It is a stabbing, ripping kind of pain, if yours is like mine, I do know what it feels like.
When mine was discovered, my doctor said, that the operation would be to dangerous and not really neccesary. Well, he is not the one unduring this pain. The good thing is, that mine does not hurt ALL the time.
Congrats on your grandbaby.
Hope you find relief.
I may have been dealt a bad hand, but at least I'm still playing with a full deck. ( most of the time anyway).