Hello! Boy am I glad to have found this site. I could definitely use some advice on what I am enduring. I am 30 years old and after two miscarriages, my husband and I had a beautiful daughter in July -- she is 7 months old. My immune system has been plaguing me since college and as the years have went on I am becoming more and more debilitated. I am on my 2nd rhuemy who writes "probable SLE" on my med record but when I ask if it is SLE she says u have lupus or something "in the lupus family." My biggest complaint is debilitating upper back/neck pain. I suffer from extreme fatigue, anemia dry eyes, butterfly rash, photosensivity, daily headaches and just flu like all over fibromyalgia daily. I was on plaquenil for about 8 wks when I got the hives all over my body (drug reaction) and can never take that med again. I've been on prednisone, tramadol and lidoderm patches for several weeks now and my Rheum just prescribed the pill form of MTX and it is sitting at the pharmacy waiting on me to get it. I am absolutely terrified. I had a lymphoma scare in 2007, my bloodwork (leukopenia) was all out of whack and the drs hospitalized me for a week and did a bone marrow test which was negative, thank god. As a new mother to a precious baby girl I am terrified of the side effects from mtx. yes this disease is making my quality of life bad. I feel like a complainer . I cry because I am a stay at home mom and I struggle through the days with my baby girl. All I want to do is feel good and have energy and i feel like death every single day. My husband and I live hours from our families as well which makes it difficult as its just he, I and baby. I'm terrified of starting MTX and am debating on when to start it if I do. My rheum seemed very adamant that it will stop the progression of my disease even though she only says "probable SLE" and i dont consider probable a diagnosis. I am home mon thru fri alone with my baby so can't add horrible side effects on top of it? And I hate to ruin my husbands entire weekend with me in bed as well. Any mommies with lupus to young babies? How do u get through it? Every day I am in so much pain. He Advil and lidoderm patches do little. I try to take the tramadol sparingly and when I do at night b/c it makes me drowsy. Rheum also prescribed skelexin ( muscle relaxer) but I haven't tried hat yet either. Thank u for listening! I have an amazing husband and parents but nobody understands what it's like to feel sick all the time.