This is something I wrote for an Australian @Lupus group and how I cope with many friends and family do the same taking and never giving.
This is a comment I posted on Lupus Facebook and I think it refers to not only people with Lupus but anyone in a transition faze. I hope it helps others to come to terms with change in their life!
Desley Watson-Raston The hardest thing I have to cope with was admitting I had to meet my body's new needs. As i couldn't do the housework like I used too, I couldn't push myself in the heat, I couldn't be there for everyone else, I had to listen to my body. I had to learn to let go of my desire to have the home perfect and accept it as a real home with its faults and especially when I started getting cleaners as I used to struggle all week to get the house clean and feel exhausted and feel guilty because I didn't get it done in the two days instead now my whole week was full of guilt in looking at housework and trying to get it done and cope. Well I learnt to let go, I have cleaners and I accept that they are not perfect, I have learnt to use my energy to enjoy every day as much as I can and have so much fun, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY at what I used to be able to do. Now that I have come to this happy place I really enjoy life. The house is clean, I have a wonderful husband, I paint watercolour, I play the flute, and clarinet or I am learning, I have great friends and have many laughs each day. Oh yeas and I don't regreat not working as a uni lecturer any more, it does take time to get to this place but it is a great journey getting here. There isn't any shame in using a walking stick, or parking in a disabled car spot, or being on the pension it is what you do,with your self each day. You either enjoy the day, worry about what you can't do, or refuse to accept the reality of what your capacity is now. When there is a balance in all of this then you can really enjoy each day.
For every dark cloud there is a silver lining!
Diagnosed: Lupus; mesenteric panniculitis; fat nacrosis;