Hi and welcome to the WHL family!
Have you talked to your doctor about your worsening symptoms? While we do learn to handle our flares and Learn when to see a doctor, if you are at a point where it is causing you this much stress it may be time to talk to him. Lupus flares often are just what you described, flu like feelings, hair loss, etc. but you need to check with your doctor to make sure that is what is going on until you bbecome more familiar with how your body reacts. Remember, what you see on the outside are simply signs of what is going on inside so the doctor may want to add/change medications temporarily to get you out of this flare.
try not to stress too much though. Stress only makes us more ill. You are now a part of our family and we will be here for you as you travel down this road.
Keep us posted, please