hello everyone,

how best to describe myself, scared, sad, lonely, depressed, confused, tired... and the list could go on and on. to cut a long story short i awoke 1 morning back in 2010 with my eye balls actually swollen out of my head, i went to the opthamologist and they gave me eye drops.. it seemed to work, but it only worked for 3 months.. the swelling came back with force, ever since then my eyes have been swollen, red, cant go in sunlight, i had to avoid all ultra violet lights, it was so bad i had to wear dark glasses just to watch the television. (can u imagine the light from the television would hurt my eyes and make them water like crazy.
ever since i have been battling for over 2 years to find out whats wrong with me, I have given up many times and decided to just try again, 1 last doctor, after COUNTLESS visits to doctors and Opthamologists finally April of this year a very wise doctor decided i should do an ANA test.. and it came back positive, so for sure i have lupus. sadly i have lupus in my eyes... i have dry eyes, scleritis, and just last month i have developed blepharitis in both eyes... my eyelids are crusting over and my appearance is becoming terrible...around my eyes are consistently swollen even worse in the morning when i wake up.. i go to bed in fear of wondering what I'm going to look like in the morning. my kidney level is at 365 and the doctor says if it should reach 500 im bound to have kidney failure. Also since last month i have developed edema in both legs... and especially the left leg is getting bigger than the right leg..

I am confused and don't know what to do.. I'm hearing alot of lupus diets but don't understand what foods to eat and what not to eat. i feel lost because i wake up everyday in fear that I'm going to die sooner than expected because of this horrible disease. no-one in my family has even heard of this disease, I'm the first 1 to have it. i hear and read up that it cuts your life expectancy less than half.. when i first heard that i have it i felt like committing suicide (i have to be honest)..

please I'm seeking all advise possible, it just seems I'm alone in the world right now... can anyone tell me if my eyes stay swollen for a long time if I could get blind..

I live in Kingston, Jamaica. I have 2 children ages 7 and 3... I am 28 years old.... i don't want to die and leave my children at a young age.