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Thread: why is there one in every crowd?

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    Default why is there one in every crowd?

    Why does it seem like there is one in every crowd? You know who I'm talking about. That one person in your office, book club, boy scout troop, neighborhood, wherever that just has to be miserable and make everyone else miserable too. That one person who can't mind their own business. As I've said before, I absolutely love my job as Office Manager. It will be 8 months on the 19th. Everyone is wonderful- I couldn't ask for a better bunch of coworkers- except for one. We've be acquaintences since our girls were in kindergarten. We never socialized but would politely chat whenever we ran into each other. We just don't have the chemistry to become friends and that's ok. She started working at my office a year before I did. It started out fine. She's nosy- very nosy with everyone but I put up with it. For reasons we'll never know, recently she started attacking my position. She's gone to the boss on several occasions making up accusations about my job performance. She's never been able to substantiate them because I've not done anything wrong. I've made minor mistakes, but they were learning the new job mistakes. She's been called out on each and every accusation and proven wrong each and every time. You'd think she'd get a clue and knock it off but she doesn't. She chills for a couple days then is right back at it. The boss is not a proactive manager. Unfortunately people can get away with a lot of hijinks around here and he'll not say a word so going to him and asking him to straighten her out is useless. I don't stoop to her level. The only time I've said anything back to here is when she tried to go off on me moments after I slammed my knee into the desk and then you better believe I had some choice words at that moment! Other than that, I turn the other cheek. It just isn't worth dignifying her attitude with a response; it would only give her more fuel if I did. I ignore her. I'm polite and professional but will not engage her in anything other than business related talk. It doesn't hurt my feelings that she doesn't like me- I've never been one to need everyone's approval but it aggravates me to no end that she can't mind her owned blasted business and concentrate on her job instead of wasting time trying to burn me. Personally, I don't have enough time for them people I do care about but less any time for those I don't!
    Thanks for letting me vent. Much appreciated!
    "I'm going to get healthy or die trying"

  2. #2
    Saysusie's Avatar
    Saysusie is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the Universe
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    Default

    Hi;
    I wrote you a very insightful and understanding response and, for some reason, it never posted. Now I am so tired and bleary-eyed, I can barely put a sentence together. So, I will simply say that it is difficult to understand why people who are miserable go out of their way in order to make someone else even more miserable than they are. I am glad that you are remaining mature and refusing to stoop to her level. She will eventually be the cause of her own destruction because people like her always are.
    Please don't let this cause you any undue stress and continue to be the better person - because you truly are.

    Peace and Blessings
    Namaste
    Saysusie
    Look For The Good and Praise It!

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    ruziska (08-09-2012)

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    I'm sorry that "one in every crowd" kind of person is trying to undermine you. We've got a couple in our office like that, but they leave me alone. Your boss might be the kind of person who doesn't like confrontation, and wants to stay away from the situation. Your approach to the situation seems sensible to me. Like Skipper in the Penguins of Madagascar says: "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave"...
    "There but for the grace of God, go I."
    "... His mercy endureth for ever."

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    ruziska (08-10-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by jmail View Post
    s: "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave"...
    I literally LOL at this.


    Ruziska,

    My personal belief is that with people like this the one thing you can do to validate them is to respond. You are definitely doing the right thing by taking the high road. Unfortunately, it is also fueling her to continue trying. It will come down to a power of will. Fortunately for you, you are simply doing your job, so you don't have to try to do anything or exert any energy, she will eventually tire of trying to burn you, or catch herself up in her own mess.

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