We all understand how you feel. I've got two boys, 10 & 12. If I'm not careful, I'll think to myself "I should be out in the backyard with them, playing baseball more" or whatever. Not gonna happen. I'll do what I can, when I can. 'Sides I can't afford to keep replacing the neighbors' windows... So we'll do 'alternative' things, like play more on the computer together, or (shudder) wash dishes together after supper... you have to take care of yourself first though, before you can take care of others. As to the "fear" thang, taint nuthin'. Sort of. While lupus isn't the death sentence it could be just 30 years ago, it's nothing to ignore either. You do want to 'keep it in a box', as my rheumy says, under control, so that its effects aren't as severe or rapid as they would be without proper medication. Unfortunately, that means doctor visits...
Originally Posted by vicky62
"There but for the grace of God, go I."
"... His mercy endureth for ever."