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Thread: Dealing with those who don't get it

  1. #11
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    males tend to have a very different way of understanding.

    asamale who has lupus.....
    this has helped me.

    http://notdoneliving.net/openletter/cfsfibro


    http://forum.wehavelupus.com/showthr...-Fibro-…

    the first link is for the origionalweb site.
    the second link is the same thing, i wrote it out on this site.

    i use it often when talking to people.......
    because i understand it and can relate to it.
    hopefully your husband can relate to it also.

  2. #12
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    Hi there...I am new to this site. But I understand what you are going through. My husband is a jerk and does not support me at all either. He thinks and says that It's a load of crap and that I use it as a excuse to be lazy. He has no compassion at all. He treats me and our kids bad. It's always about him. He is very lazy. I do everything in the house. It's almost like i'm the wife and the husband...the mother and father. But if I ask him to please do the dishes after dinner so I can sit down and rest cause i'm in PAIN FROM STANDING OVER TWO HOURS COOKING...he says..."you're home all do and do nothing...why don't you do them". He just doesnt get it. He thinks that him going to work is all the contribution he needs to give. What he doesn't see is that i'm always doing stuff. Cleaning, organizing, taking care of the kids, cooking, taking care of finances, running errands, picking up after everybody including my father in law cause he lives with us...getting the kids to and from school etc. And get this...his dad owns his own business.. my husband works for him. He gets alot of breaks cause he works for daddy so he can get away with alot of stuff. My husbands best friend since childhood just got hired so now they work together. My husbands job is not hard at all. He told me himself it's the easiest job. All he does is records numbers as they come in so most of the time he has dead time like a half hour to 2 or 3. He does no physical labor at all! So of course I get upset and tell him that I do more physical work at home than he does at his job and not only that I have to deal with the kids while he gets to chat all day with is best friend. Any stay at home mom or dad would get tired and just add Lupus to that and its even worse. I can't believe he would be so cruel and say i'm lazy and that Lupus is load of crap. I wish I had a real man who cares about his family... Sorry.. I didn't mean to go all out on your post...I just hate that I see other women and men in our situation.

  3. #13
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    I wish I had some advice on this one. My husband has been wonderful and actually printed out copies of the spoon theory to give to people. He said it helped him understand a little more.

    I agree, get your mother in law to smack some sense into him.

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