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Thread: An Extraordinary Life...

  1. #31
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    Rob I have just been catching up on some of the news, and your dad's passing was the first I read. I have thought of you and your dad often which brings back many memories of the precious times I used to spend with my dad before his passing exactly 10 years ago.

    Mum and Dad used to walk the Bibbulmun Track in stages. Around 1000km or 620 miles. They only had one more section to walk before they had completed the whole walk when Dad passed away. After a period of time grieving, my brother went with Mum and they finished the walk together. Such an achievement.

    When you feel up to it Rob, make plans to finish the car you and your dad worked on together. Take your time to reminisce as you work. My thoughts will be with you.
    Diagnosed with Lupus - 22 June, 2010

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    Rob,
    Linda's idea is wonderful. It will be a wonderful tribute to your Dad for you to finish that car restoration.
    Keep taking one day at a time and you will slowly adjust to your "new normal".
    We'll all be here to cheer you on and to "listen" when you need a shoulder to lean on.
    Hugs,
    Marla

    LINDA - I've missed you! Glad to see you back!

  3. #33
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    i agree what a fitting tribute to your dad for you to finish the car. hugs kim

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by rob View Post
    Well, it's now been exactly one week. I keep having these incredibly realistic dreams right before I wake in the morning. I dream that Dad is calling me saying he's OK and will be home from the hospital soon. And there's another one where I look out to see his car in my driveway, the shop doors are open, and he's out there working on the last car restoration we started together. They are so real that I believe they are true for a few minutes after I wake. Then reality hits me, it hits me hard.

    I've decided that I'm going to finish our final car project for Dad, but I can't go out in the shop yet. All of his tools are laid out, the portable work light is still hanging under the open hood of the car, and his workstool is still there, all exactly as he left it the last time he was here. I keep hoping to see his car pull into my driveway, but I know it never will.

    There is an absence and void in my life that can never be filled. I miss my Dad terribly.

    Rob
    Rob;
    I've just returned home from a short hospitalization and was so sorry to hear of your Dad's passing. His service and memorial sounded wonderful and I am not at all surprised by the many lives that he touched. We know how wonderful he was because of the man that you are.
    I mentioned to you before that you would have the most vivid dreams about your Dad; he IS letting you know that he is OK. These dreams will continue and you will find that they happen when you are missing him the most. Soon, these dreams will bring you comfort because that is what you Dad wanted for you, even in his final moments. It was important to him that his family find comfort.
    I am convinced that there is life after life and that our loved ones do come to us in our dreams to comfort us and to assure us. As I said earlier, these dreams will start to bring you comfort. I still dream about my sweet Lauri..that she is alive, healthy, and happy and in my dreams, she spends days with me, tells me what she has been doing, lets me know that she is happy and she always says something like "OK Mom, I have to get back but I will talk to you soon. I love you Mommy!" When I have these dreams, I forget about Lupus, Fibromyalgia, and everything else that may cause me unhappiness....I awake happy, calm, and filled with hope.
    I pray that you will also find a way to keep hopeful and to find peace in knowing that there is no more sorrow, no more pain, no more tears....only unending love and serenity.
    Warmest hugs
    Saysusie
    Look For The Good and Praise It!

  5. #35
    rob is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the World
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    It's been over two weeks now since that awful day, and instead of maybe having just a little more ability to comprehend and understand what happened, I seem to have less. We had to make the decision to withdraw life support. I was part of that decision. Knowing that you are carrying out the wishes of your loved one, does not make the decision any easier to make, or any easier to live with.

    rob
    Last edited by rob; 04-16-2012 at 06:06 PM.

  6. #36
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    i am sorry you find no peace.

    i know you understand the logic.....
    that you did not actively partake in removing his life.
    but i do understand the hollow feeling.

    all i can offer is a shoulder.
    i wish you peace.

  7. #37
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    i am sorry rob. i can understand somewhat when my father was on life support they gave us an option of taking him off life support or having a operation in hopes of saving him ultimetly it was my mothers decision and she chose the operation even though the doctors said he would not survive operation. all my family went and said there goodbyes to him before the operation but i could not. because in my mind then they were all giving up. and i was not ready to let go. he died during operation. so in someways i know what it is like to want to hang on. and not let go.and for a long time i was haunted by my decision not to say goodbye. but i realised after awhile everybody does what they have to do in that situation. and in time i made peace with my decision and you my friend will make peace with yours. you were there holding his hand and he knew that. and your father left this world on his terms. i am here anytime you need a shoulder to cry on. luv and hugs kim

  8. #38
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    Hi Rob,

    I understand. My mom and I were incredibly close, just like you and your dad. She was my best friend. We did everything together and there was seldom a day when we didn't speak. Anyway, I miss her as much today as I did 3 years ago; however, it's different now. It's easier to miss her. I've become used to not seeing her. I can call up a memory and revel in it with joy, not sorrow.

    Peace will come, but it takes time. Give yourself that. Be patient and allow yourself the grief.

    Hugs.
    Brenda

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  10. #39
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    Hi Rob,
    I'm just catching up after a busy week.
    Jeff went through a lot of guilt and what ifs after his Mom passed. He kept kicking himself for not insisting that she move in with us so that we could take care of her. However, she wanted to live independently and had her own circle of friends and resources in Florida. She was a nurse, so I think that she fully understood what was going on, and wanted to deal with it in her own way. I don't think that there was ever any way that Jeff could have done anything to change the outcome, but he still had a hard time convincing himself of that.
    As others have told you, time will make the memories sweeter.
    Just hang in there, my friend.
    Love and Hugs,
    Marla

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    I am so sorry for your loss but it seems that you had a wonderfull father and family. God Bless you all

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