Thank you all for the kind words, and support.

I thought that the grief, the sadness, the total feeling of emptiness was supposed to slowly get better with time.

For me, it's just getting worse with each passing day. Each day, yet another dozen things come to my mind that will never happen again. Each day I go to do something like call Dad for advice, or whatever, and then it dawns on me that I can't do those things anymore, and it's like being punched in the gut. It makes me suddenly nauseous for real, not just figuratively. With that I get the shakes, and rubbery legs. It's a horrible feeling. Up until that awful day, I had never seen a person die before, let alone a person who meant the absolute world to me. It was the most heart-rending, devastating thing I have ever witnessed.

I hope coping starts getting a little bit easier soon, because all of this is really taking a toll on me both mentally, and physically.