Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 18 of 18

Thread: Boyfriend's Son is a Nightmare

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    31
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Default

    Hello, I have only been lurking here, but I read your post and felt the need to reply, as I can see, feel and understand the pain of your situation. I too have a stepson (I am married to his father) that is soon to be 17 and acts exactly like the child you are describing. His mother isn't absent but dropped him off at his fathers several years ago and handed over custody because she no longer wanted to deal with him, they see or speak very little of each other.
    He has been in Juvenile Jail more times than I can count for what I consider just being stupid. He has cost us a small fortune in court cost and Juvelie detention fees. He has never done anything "bad" per say but he is extremely disrepectful to us, his teachers, his peers, the police. My husband gets up every morning at 5am to make my stepson get up and watches him get to the school bus and get on. Mind you, he has been kicked out of our public school system and now goes to an alternitive school so that too has been an issue.
    He sits in his room and plays video games all day long, refuses to get a job, smokes in the house and is always asking for money. I went to the police and asked what my rights were...basically, he's under 18 and he has to do whatever I say or I can press unruly charges on him. Lucky for me, he respects me way more than he does anyone else and like you I try not to get into the middle of his battles with the law and his dad BUT...I also help pay for the food he eats, the toilet paper he wipes his butt with, the clothes on his back and the roof over his head, I have rights as a human being to voice my opinion and if he respects no one else he will respect me. We have a wonderful relationship and he would do anything for me but in return I am always kind to him and stern when I am pushed. Please feel free to message me, even if just to vent.
    Good Luck.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    pinjarra, western australia
    Posts
    2,913
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    1,393
    Thanked 1,617 Times in 1,107 Posts

    Default

    hello runnergirl68,
    welcome to our cyber family.
    thank you for becomming a member.
    it is always nice to hear that our "lurkers" become members.

    please tell us a little more about yourself.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    961
    Blog Entries
    4
    Thanks
    33
    Thanked 47 Times in 43 Posts

    Default

    Runnergirl, thanks for coming out of the shadows. I so appreciate your response. I, also, help put a roof over his head and help pay for food and utilities for this kid, but he just takes it for granted. He is so immature for his age, almost 14. Like I said, everything else is a priority for him, except what should be a priority, school. Anyway, a couple of days ago he really blew it again, and the police were here again. They could have taken him in, but his father didn't press charges against what he did. Another break! He has had so many. So sorry you are going through the same thing we are. I am glad you have a good relationship with the kid you are dealing with. I don't have a good relationship with this kid because I get upset when he disrespects his Dad. My problem is that when he disrespects his Dad, I can't help but disrespect his mother who abandoned him.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    31
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Default

    As much as I dislike his mother, I never bring her up in any conversation, I know that would hurt my stepson too much. He knows whats up with his mom and I don't think my input is needed. I get very frustrated with the whole situation but I am not the parent and sometimes I think thats much harder than being the parent but I know my husband would say otherwise. He raised a stepdaughter with his first wife and said he would get so upset because he is ex-wife would always get upset with him when he would discipline the child, I'm just looking at him like, "hello, i'm in that boat here"! Neither of my husbands kids (17 yr old boy and 14 year girl) have ever spoken to me the way they do there dad, I won't put up with it but he does...
    I have raised 2 beautiful amazing young women (23 and 24) that are simply wonderful and my best friends. Whatever happens to my stepson in the future is on his fathers shoulders, not mine. I do what I can with what I have and let the rest roll. Good luck, and feel free to pm me anytime, I can give you my e-mail and we can chat away and trade horror stories!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    961
    Blog Entries
    4
    Thanks
    33
    Thanked 47 Times in 43 Posts

    Default

    I also raised a beautiful amazing young woman who never gave me any trouble. She thought I was the best mother in the world. That's what she told me anyway(my girl is 32). I figure that whatever happens to my boyfriend's son is on the boy himself and the way his mother raised him for the last 14 yrs. If I make it through this relationship for the next 4 yrs., when he turns 18, it will be a miracle.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    961
    Blog Entries
    4
    Thanks
    33
    Thanked 47 Times in 43 Posts

    Default

    Update on boyfriend's son. He is going to school now, but refuses to follow other terms of his probation, like cooperating with us regarding homework, and following house rules. He sees his probation officer this afternoon, but I don't think he is going to get a good review. We'll see. I hope that they put him on formal probation and that they extend the probation beyond 6 months. He has already told his Dad, he is not going to go to high school here come September. If they take him off probation, he will just go back to his old ways and refuse to go to school again. I am just so sick and tired of him and his behavior.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    31
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Default

    Oh my, I can sooooooooo relate to these issues. I finally told my husband on saturday that if he doesnt want to dicsipline his kids then I will.
    I am tired, tired because I work 10 hours a day and his kids don't lift a finger (even their own things), tired because his 17 y.o. son doesnt mow the lawn but I do, tired because they are VERY disrespectul teenagers and I would have never allowed my own god given child talk to me that way and there is no way I'm going to allow some elses child do that. Tired because his son won't even get his butt out of bed for school but has his friends come over all evening to play x-box and eat our food (which has skyrocketing cost), tired because his daughter walks in on Friday night and calls us names and complains clear into monday morning when she leaves, tired because his daughter has been very mean to my 17 year old dog and now my sisters dog (i'm babysitting for it, long story), I'm tired of being the breadwinner, the housekeeper, the groundskeeper and everything in between. His kids are plenty old enough to know right from wrong and help out, if they don't want to show some respect and at least take care of what they have then my voice WILL be heard! He if doesnt want to discipline his own children then I will. Im just plain TIRED of it all!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Perth, Western Australia
    Posts
    92
    Blog Entries
    2
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 34 Times in 21 Posts

    Default

    Hi! I haven't been around here in a long time but I got an email the other day that reminded me of your initial post about your stepson and how difficult things had been for your family. The email was some really good information on children going through the justice system (in western aust) and how that impacts the family. I dont know whether you'd be interested in the info abt the kids but if you do want to see private message me and ill email you the info
    Diagnosed with SLE and Antiphospholipid Syndrom - June 2010

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •