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Thread: Boyfriend's Son is a Nightmare

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  1. #1
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    Default Boyfriend's Son is a Nightmare

    I feel so down today. My boyfriend's son just got on probation and he has already broken it. He refuses to go to school, even though the probation officer has made it a part of his probation that he has to go to school, unless he is sick and he isn't sick. He is so angry and I can understand that as his mother legally abandoned him and he has no choice in the matter of which parent he wished to live with. What makes it so horrible though is that he takes it out on us. He won't talk to us or communicate and stays in his room all the time, except the weekends when he goes to his friend's house without permission , again another violation as he has to be at home by 9 pm 7 days a week. I don't know what is going to happen to him as he is on his way to juvenile jail. I don't know how many times the probation department will allow him to violate the terms of his probation before they incarcerate him. I am about ready to leave this situation and would if I had enough income to live on my own. But with the lupus, fibromyalgia and my age, I just can't work full time anymore. Don't even know if I could keep a part/time job? I just don't know what to do. At the moment, it takes the two of our incomes to keep this place going. Another problem is that his son's mother won't pay child support and we don't know where she is. We think she went to Sweden, but don't know for sure. Please pray for me.

  2. #2
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    Oh my, that's tough stuff. The stress can not be good for you. Do you see a counselor? That may help you understand what you can reasonably do for him. It must be so hard for all of you.

    I know that the step-mom role can illicit a lot of resentment. It can be a very difficult position to be in.

    Yes, I'll keep you in my thoughts.

    Brenda

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    It sure is difficult to be the girlfriend. I really don't consider myself the stepmom. I try not to butt in, but sometimes it's really difficult not too. My daughter is a counselor and she gives me good advice, and my former sister-in-law is too. The social worker was coming for awhile, but she really wasn't any help because she always blamed us and it is the boy that has the problem and he refuses to change his attitude. Also, the social worker told my boyfriend to leave me and get a room with his son. The two of them together in one room is not a good idea. They would definitely get on each other's nerves. Also, she would end up breaking up a 10 year relationship between me and my boyfriend. In my opinion, the social worker overstepped her boundaries. There just doesn't seem to be a solution to this problem. If the boy goes somewhere else, we have to pay for his board and care and we can't afford it. I am retired and my boyfriend is currently on unemployment. If he gets a position welding again and makes the kind of money he was making before he got hurt on the job, then it's a different story. We could afford to house him elsewhere. I know that sounds awful, but no one understands what it is like to live like this and he is here in the house 24/7. That would get on anyone's nerves.

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    i am a step dad to 3 boys, and 1 girl.

    they are all now grown.

    they have always been good kids, but the 3 boys all teenagers at the same time......
    it was hard, and almost cost us our relationship.

    they were good boys as i said.
    i can sympethise.... but i still can only imagine your pain.

    sorry but i have no other words of wisdom........ but i do have my shoulder!!!!!!!!

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    DrinkofWtr (03-20-2012)

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    Well last night we had to call the police. I don't know what the policewoman said to my boyfriend's son (something about respecting his father) but he actually got up, went to school and got enrolled. It's a first step!

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    little steps

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    tgal (03-20-2012)

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