You are a great husband trying to find out how you can help your wife.
Like Rob said, to us lupus sufferers, the loving, caring, support of our loved ones, is one of the most important things to us.
Our loved ones can not stop our pain, or fatigue, but boy their love will help us to go through it alot better.
Fortunately I have a great husband, who helps and understands, that makes a big difference.
I am convinced, not having support and understanding, makes things alot worse and harder to deal with.
You're a great guy.
I may have been dealt a bad hand, but at least I'm still playing with a full deck. ( most of the time anyway).