So. Last week my GP called to say my blood test results were back and look more like SLE than the RA I suspected I had.
I'm 27, and studying to become a doctor. I have this year and one more to go.... while everyone is telling me not to be pessimistic, med school is intense, and my goal was to become a medical superintendent. Med Supers work ridiculous hours with no backup, so I really think it's unrealistic to keep that goal.
Whatsmore, my parents remortgaged their house to send me here. I'm really scared that I won't be able to work much, and won't be able to pay my parents back. If I have to take time off study and qualification courses, that will increase my costs...
But the scariest thing is that two weeks ago I did the eulogy for my grandfather. He died of kidney disease.
I'm off to the GP tomorrow to get more tests done, and off to a Rheumatologist the week after.
One good thing about all this is I now know that I'm not a hypochondriac, or lazy. I can now nap without any guilt!
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a-holes.
Talk to your docs. Get on meds and take it from there. We are here for you as well!
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
as your signature says, .... surrounded by a-holes.
dont let a-holes stop your dream.
do what you can.
admit your limitations.
try again when you have to.
always keep your dream.
I can speak from the perspective of somebody on the mild-to-moderate end of things - it's not always horrible! of course, I don't know how, when or if my diseases (SLE, Sjogren's, Raynaud's, and APS - and now, apparently, possibly Pernicious Anemia) will progress - but after about 5 months, my Plaquenil seems to be kicking in, and between that and learning to manage my lifestyle better, I am doing okay. Yes, it gets in my way sometimes - but the more you know about your body, the better you can recognize and manage things.
I have learned, for instance, that what I eat affects my disease activity and how I feel, so I am more careful about that.
I have learned that sleep is VERY IMPORTANT - more important than social life, movies, TV, or (gasp!) even reading.
I have learned that if I am not sleeping well, I SHOULD TAKE SOMETHING FOR IT, even if it's only an Advil PM.
I have learned that taking Ibuprofen for a day or two when I first feel the inkling of a flare can head off bigger problems.
I have learned that my reluctance to take any sort of medicine is not going to do me any favors at this point in my life.
Learning these things has made all this stuff much less scary than I thought it was at first.
I still have many moments of "freakout" - or "why me" or "life is hard and this sucks"....but EVERYONE has those sometimes, for many reasons. Autoimmune disease just happens to be the reason for mine!
Personally, I think that this might make you an EXTRAORDINARY doctor/medical professional. Lots of us have great doctors, but very few of them know first-hand what it's like managing a confusing, complicated, chronic disease. You will have an education that most of your peers will lack, and I can't help thinking it's very valuable information.
I know it's daunting....but be hopeful, and educate yourself, and work with your doctors to try and make this a manageable condition. Don't get ahead of yourself, just take things as they come. You might feel BETTER soon, not worse, now that you can get appropriate treatment.
Best of luck to you....and you know that there are a lot of people here for support.
Welcome to WHL. I also think that this experience will make you an outstanding doctor. Have you considered rheumatology? Good ones seem to be rare, and we often say that we wish that they could experience what we are feeling. Unfortunately, you are experiencing it. Perhaps you could learn how to help yourself and others as well.
Nicely put Brandywine!!!
Yes, we can all nap without any guilt!!! That is the first thing I felt a release in last week when I go my ANA results and started researching Lupus was that now I can understand why I have started napping so much and now I can do so without feeling guilty!!
When I need to rest, and can simply just rest. Feels good too without feeling lazy. I wish you would consider continuing but I don't know how you might be struggling, but we could sure use you in Rheumy!! I'm sure you'd make a very fine one too.