I wonder if it's just that your husband is scared and doesn't know how to express that. I just found out I have SLE last Monday, and of course I told my husband of 20 years that very night. He proceeded to have bad dreams 2 nights in a row with shouting out in his sleep. I think he is scared and a lot of men just don't know how to express that while still appearing to be masculine and strong. I wish you the best of luck; maybe he just needs some time to get his head wrapped around this and face his fears of losing you.