The first thing that came to mind reading your first post was, " she is def not a fraud or somebody who milks the system, because a fraud or " milker" , would not have those kind of thoughts". Somebody who is a fraud, wouldn't feel guilty, not even for a minute. Believe me, I know what I am talking about, I see it daily at my job, you can pinpoint a fraud, well I can. Here is a little example, a young man forgot his cane, come back into the store, running, got his cane and started to limp, like his legs were not able to carry him, all within a few seconds.
The next time I saw him I asked him what happened to him, he said that he had an accident at work and will get alot of money. Every time I see him, he forgets to limp, but then remembers.
That is just one example.
Everybody on this site, knows what Lupus does to our body, we have good days and bad days. When we are lucky enough to have a good day, we can do things, we can't do on bad days.
Therefore you have no reason whatsoever to feel guilty.
I tell you one thing, walking a dog is good for you, it gives you some exersise and a purpose, to get up in the morning.
Yesterday at work I was near tears, because I was so fatigued and in alot of pain, I really almost cried and I am not a crier. We have been extremely busy at work and last week I had to work 42 hours, this week 45 hours. I am wiped out.
I have spent some time on job sites on the pc, I have to either find something easier or have to quit, because I can't do this any longer.
Be grateful that you have the disability on your side, they gave it to you, because you need it and don't feel bad about it. You can't work a " regular" job, period.
I may have been dealt a bad hand, but at least I'm still playing with a full deck. ( most of the time anyway).