Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: depression fighting and a car wreck it has to stop

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    277
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 24 Times in 15 Posts

    Unhappy depression fighting and a car wreck it has to stop

    I finally hit rock bottom this past weekend, everything got out of control. As most of you know my husband left me right after I was diagnosed. 17 years together. This pass weekend I went out with my friends to a local flea market my husband was there with my best friend. I was nice and spoke to the both of them. What so bad is my friend she had a stroke in july and I had to take care of her 2 children, one who is handicapped from the mothers previous boyfriend trying to kill her and gave her shaken baby syndrome. I took care of these 2 children for 2 weeks while she was in the hospital. Her and her kids went on vacation with my family. Well later that day after I went to the flea market, I went to the auction with some friends and guess who was there yes the two of them and her sweet little girl.

    Everyone was talking about how my husband left me for her, this talk had been going on all day. She even smarted off at me and said since I was handicapped now she would take care of him. I told my friend Shelly I was going to snap that night and I did. I did something that I thought I would never do. I jump her don't know where or how I got the energy to do it but I did it. Once I did it my son pulled me off of her and threw me in the car and we left. When I got home I got a call that my husband, my so called best friend and her child were in a car wreck because they were fighting about me and my husband was driving and wrecked her car, he was trying to stop her from calling the police on me and having me arrested. They are all ok but the point of this is that it went to far.

    Today my son who is 21 took my phone from me and want allow me to talk to my husband( Which is a good think) this morning I took my pistol left my house and gave it to a really good friend of mine who is helping me and my son out, he is actually my husbands best friend. Because my husband left me broke and I have no insurance and I am waiting on disability I had to sell my wedding ring. No big deal the dr almost cut it off the last time I went to the hospital.

    if it were not for my kids watching me right now I don't know what I would do. tonight I just found out that my first love from high school committed suicide. Now I want to cry I have know him for over 25 years and we had a daughter together but she died before I had her.

    I hope that one day I will be able to accept the fact that I have lupus but this is hard especially when I don't have the support of my husband like he promised. It makes it real hard.But I do have lots of friends and family.

    thanks for listening
    Lea
    SLE Lupus diagnosed 8/8/11
    COPD,Raynauda's, IBS, Asthma, Sleep Apena, Amenia and Arthritis,Diabetes,Reflux TMJ, temporal arteritis
    Half dead, cripple and crazy but still above ground.
    Medication
    Novolog injections, Medrol injections, MTX injections, Dicyclomine, Plaqulin, Iron, Spreva inhaler, Advair inhaler, Albuteral inhaler, Fish Oil, Calcium, Diclofenac, Citalopram and doxcycline

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    pinjarra, western australia
    Posts
    2,956
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    1,412
    Thanked 1,641 Times in 1,127 Posts

    Default

    (((hugs)))

  3. #3
    Saysusie's Avatar
    Saysusie is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the Universe
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Victorville, California
    Posts
    7,765
    Blog Entries
    10
    Thanks
    1,624
    Thanked 934 Times in 593 Posts

    Default

    I am so sorry to hear that things have gotten so bad for you. I agree that jumping her may have been the wrong course of action, but I also feel that her actions brought it upon herself. You have taken about all that you can in this ordeal and her smart mouth only added insult to injury. In short..she had a beat down coming! I agree with your son in that you do not need to continue to communicate witn your husband if it is only going to cause you grief.
    This situation does nothing but keep you in a state of depression and that is thhe last thing that you need with your illness. I wish that I had some useful suggestions for you. Al that I can do is to tell you that I truly care and that I am here to listen & to give you a shoulder to cry on and warm hugs to comfort you.
    Please try to find some peace, some joy, and take care of yourself.
    Peace and Blessings
    Namaste
    Saysusie
    Look For The Good and Praise It!

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Saysusie For This Useful Post:

    Gizmo (11-29-2011), steve.b (11-28-2011)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    277
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 24 Times in 15 Posts

    Default

    Thank you so much. To top things off tonight I just found out that my first love from High school pass away, He committed suicide. I knew that I couldn't take much more and knew that I would snap. A person can only take so much, and being diagnosed to me was very heart breaking. His best friend told me that he thought that he did not know how to handle my medical condition and was just handling it wrong. That may be the factor but I will never forget some of the words that he used to me.
    With my wonderful kids help I will go on and as my son said we will be better and stronger than him and when he needs us we will ignore him and he will wish he had never left us.
    Lea
    SLE Lupus diagnosed 8/8/11
    COPD,Raynauda's, IBS, Asthma, Sleep Apena, Amenia and Arthritis,Diabetes,Reflux TMJ, temporal arteritis
    Half dead, cripple and crazy but still above ground.
    Medication
    Novolog injections, Medrol injections, MTX injections, Dicyclomine, Plaqulin, Iron, Spreva inhaler, Advair inhaler, Albuteral inhaler, Fish Oil, Calcium, Diclofenac, Citalopram and doxcycline

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,213
    Thanks
    280
    Thanked 208 Times in 162 Posts

    Default

    I'm sorry you're having a tough time of it. In your feeling frustrated, you acted out. Tour husband, if it's any consolation, saw how badly his actions hurt you by urging your former friend not to call the police on toy for assault.

    It was wise of you to ask a friend to keep your handgun. I know you're hurt, but giving up your freedom for those two--definitely not worth it.

    It will get better. Stay away from both of them or you'll be stooping down to their level. Rise above their sixth grade antics.

    I'm sorry about your friend's suicide. He must've been in a lot of pain.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to BonusMom For This Useful Post:

    Gizmo (11-29-2011)

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    277
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 24 Times in 15 Posts

    Default

    My friend that committed suicide, we had a child together she died while I was pregnant, I was told he never got over it and everything that happen all those years ago. Then he got in to some trouble with the law and was arrested, got on drugs and I guess he couldn't take it. I talked to him a few months ago he seemed ok but when you can't see someone face to face it is hard to tell.
    I was upset about him when my husband called to night and started in on me again. I finally gave up and hung up. tomorrow I am changing my phone and phone service.
    Lea
    SLE Lupus diagnosed 8/8/11
    COPD,Raynauda's, IBS, Asthma, Sleep Apena, Amenia and Arthritis,Diabetes,Reflux TMJ, temporal arteritis
    Half dead, cripple and crazy but still above ground.
    Medication
    Novolog injections, Medrol injections, MTX injections, Dicyclomine, Plaqulin, Iron, Spreva inhaler, Advair inhaler, Albuteral inhaler, Fish Oil, Calcium, Diclofenac, Citalopram and doxcycline

  9. #7
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    645
    Thanks
    456
    Thanked 353 Times in 232 Posts

    Default

    Leaann, you absolutely did the right thing by getting the gun out of the house! IMHO neither your "best friend" nor your husband deserve the time of day. I know it's very complicated and that your lives are intertwined, but hopefully a day will come when your life will be better because of all of this. I'm not an "everything happens for a reason" kind of person, but I do think that lemonade tastes pretty good after you've squeezed the juice out of the lemons and thrown them away.

    For me, and for others on this site, the lupus diagnosis was a relief. It meant treatment options and doctors not treating me like I was crazy any more. For other folks, there is a grieving process that is covered in one of the "stickies." Family members go through the same steps of grieving that we do. Sometimes people cope in ways that are destructive and hurtful and you can't change what your family and friends do. You can take care of yourself through this process by talking with a counselor or pastor - someone that doesn't have a personal stake in what happens. Find reasons to get up every morning and to take care of yourself during the day. Call the Lupus Foundation in your state and see what support they can give you. Some will actually help pay bills or give you information on getting food stamps and short term assistance.

    I feel so badly for you, Lea, but you have taken some powerful steps in protecting yourself and cutting off contact. You are powerful and worth the effort!

  10. #8
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Seaside, Ca.
    Posts
    3,871
    Thanks
    196
    Thanked 948 Times in 732 Posts

    Default

    Leaann,
    Your son is right - it is time for you to move on and to rebuild your own life.
    The best revenge will be for you to have a long and happy life.
    Hugs to you, dear.
    Marla

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    277
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 24 Times in 15 Posts

    Default

    I decided to go on with my life, the first thing I needed to do was to get my own cell phone and get off his bill that he had with me, my son and that women. So yesterday morning we got new phones and new numbers only giving the number to my mom and daughter and one close friend of mine for now. So I ask my daughter to talk to my husband for me, letting him know that he needed to come this week and get the rest of his stuff, before I knew it the was threatening my daughter and then me and after talking to my dad we called the police. Thank god we are a small town and the local boys checked on us several times last night.
    I was worried that he was going to do something stupid, I know how he can get which is bad I shouldn't have to know how bad he can get. I was so upset that I eat a whole box of little debbie cakes last night which is odd for me I can't stand stuff like that, but I was so nervous waiting on the police i didn't know what to do.
    this has made me sick and put me in a bad flare, I almost went to the hospital yesterday. I have an appointment next week with my doctor. Hoping I can hold off till then. My son is wonderful and he is taking good care of me. We finally got the locks changed on the house so I feel a little safer there.
    Will keep everyone posted.
    thanks all
    Lea
    SLE Lupus diagnosed 8/8/11
    COPD,Raynauda's, IBS, Asthma, Sleep Apena, Amenia and Arthritis,Diabetes,Reflux TMJ, temporal arteritis
    Half dead, cripple and crazy but still above ground.
    Medication
    Novolog injections, Medrol injections, MTX injections, Dicyclomine, Plaqulin, Iron, Spreva inhaler, Advair inhaler, Albuteral inhaler, Fish Oil, Calcium, Diclofenac, Citalopram and doxcycline

  12. #10
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    645
    Thanks
    456
    Thanked 353 Times in 232 Posts

    Default

    Lea, have you ever spoken with anyone at a Women's Crisis Center or domestic abuse hotline? Many areas have them and the police department should be able to give you the number for the closest one. They can give you support, information and possibly even shelter if your safety is at stake. If you need to get a restraining order, they may be able to walk you through it or hook you up with a lawyer that will do it pro bono.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Gizmo For This Useful Post:

    steve.b (11-30-2011)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •