My sister and driving
My sister is 23 years old, she does not have her license, not even a learners permit. I am on disability, I get $866.75 a month to live off of, plus a couple hundred extra that I make my walking and helping take care of 2 dogs for 2 people. Before I got sick, like most of us, I had a job that and was doing ok, not great but ok with money. I forget when I was approved for disability but it hasn't even been a year yet. I bought a car in 2008/09 I forget which year, because I needed one as my current car had died and I have no cash to get another one. It was a brand new car because I needed something reliable, not another used car that could fail me and plus I didn't think my life would spiral out of control.
Back to what I originally mean. I pay for this car by myself, and it costs me around $450 alone for its payments and insurance, and that's not including its gas and maintenance. Owning a car alone takes so much of my money but I need it/we need it. My sister doesn't drive, and I REALLY wish she would LEARN. I don't like driving but it is an essential skill we all need to learn otherwise we can't get anywhere a bus does not go. My sister used to ask for rides a lot, and I'd get irritated and then she'd get mad at me for getting irritated and it would just go in a circle. It's still like that today, she still won't learn to drive and I am still very irritated by her. Sometimes she gives me gas money, and she'll say "I paid you, so you have no reason to say no". Driving is tiring to me, you always have to be on alert, using your foot back and forth, and with my brain fog I just don't want to do this if I don't have to, I only drive when I need to go look after the dogs, otherwise I like to stay home.
She doesn't get this...My sister and I have been fighting ALL our lives, and I doubt it will ever stop. I live with her because we seemed to get a long better than we ever have once our parents divorced. I also live with her because its impossible to live alone on the pathetic amount of money I am given by the government. Just the other day she said she wanted a ride to work because she "didn't feel like walking" and I feel like I MUST say yes or she will just become pissed and I HATE IT SO MUCH when she's angry, it drives me insane, it makes it feel disgusting to be in this house. If I say no she gets angry, and/or she guilt traps me and says she barely ever asks and that it would "be nice if I could do this for her", so disgusting...
She is afraid to try for her Learners because she makes the excuse that she can't read well, and that she is afraid of failing. It's no big deal if you fail and everybody does the first couple of times, and I've tried to explain to her nicely but she is an impossible person to talk to, she takes every single thing you could ever say, as an attack.
Basically I never feel well, and I only drive when I have to, which is going to my work, to appointments, or for food or whatever else we may need. It's like she is jealous, or upset that I can go anywhere I want, whenever I want, but she has to walk or take the bus. Gee...I wonder why that is?! I'm so tired of her constant anger and her bitching and abusing me, but I know she is never going to change and it gets so hard to continue to ignore her or not let things bother me. She is a two faced person it seems, understanding one minute and then the next its as if she doesn't care or understand at all.
What do I do? Am I too hard on her? Am I the one who is not understanding and I am the one who is mean like she tells me? She's had 8 years of counseling and she has barely changed or improved at all, and I know its not her counselors fault as I've had her before and she's great, its the fact that my sister is selfish and stubborn.
What is it with healthy people getting jealous of us...I just can't wrap my head around that. I'd give anything to be NORMAL again and to have a life like she says she does. It's so hard to deal with this, and it goes way past just arguing about rides. We have a dog we share but she says is her's just because she's paid for it, yet I take full care of it, so I view it as OURS...Etc, it goes on and on.
Point is, I feel its time for her to get her damned license, I'll teach her, and she can take the freaking car HERSELF!!!
Yes I'm frustrated lol...Sorry...
"With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter, I am a survivor!" - Reba McEntire