Thanks for the update, Rob. I'm so sorry that the news is not better, but your Dad has a great attitude and a great family, which is more than most people have. My thoughts are with you as you face this new challenge.
Dad has an extensive series of tests every day this week, and a couple more the week after. Then, on the 14th, we have the big appointment with the Oncologist where we find out what stage, what possible treatments will be used, and how far the cancer has metasticized.
Dad is having some chest pain in the general area of the upper lobe of the right lung, and is experiencing some shortness of breath. However, he is active and staying busy. He is in good spirits.
I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around all of this. The statistics and numbers on the long term prognosis and outcome of lung cancer isn't, well, it isn't very good. I wish I had never read that stuff. And the choices of treatment, or not, is a thing I cannot seem to accept. I mean, it's either some combination of surgery/chemo/radiation, or it's inoperable, and that's it. Dad is a big guy, and has always been physically strong and in great shape. The thought of him having chemo and/or radiation, and what that physically does to a person, makes me feel such fear for him.
For a couple of days, I actually had myself convinced that he doesn't have cancer, and that it's all a big mistake. It's just a smudge on the x-rays, or the cat/pet scans are wrong because the machines aren't properly calibrated, or the lab mixed up the biopsy samples, and on and on. I really believed it. I don't know what to make of that. I guess that's just what the mind does when it all becomes too much to take in and accept.
Some mornings I get up and totally forget about it all for 30 minutes, maybe an hour. Then I remember, and the questions of why, why him, begin. I'm trying to remain positive, and full of hope. I'm trying hard, but not doing a very good job of it.
look in your lifes mirror.
not to many years ago, what dad has would have been fatal.
today, hopefully it is operable.
you and dad had a hard time dealing with your prognosis.
not a lot has changed, just the other foot this time.
there is unforunatelly no quick fix.
the outcome either way is far from ideal.
you and dad, do have each others love.
you and dad, do have an inbuilt strength.
we are all praying and offering our good thoughts and wishes for all of your family.
Steve is so right. Hugs to you. I've found over the years that things happen for a reason. We usually come out a stronger person. I wish I could say that love conquers all.
Be strong for your family; but take care of yourself.
Hugs and prayers for you and yours
Steve... it could not have said it any better if you tried. So very true
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
So perfectly stated Steve...
Rob; I am so sorry that this is happening in your life and I truly understand the "why" questions. But, as Steve (and others) have mentioned, there are so many new treatments and modalities available now that were not available years ago. I also believe that your Dad's positive attitude, healthy lifestyle, and great physical condition will go a long way towards a more positive outcome. Not to mention the fact that he has the support and unending love of his family. You, yourself, know how important that fact alone can be the person dealing with an illness/disease. You are a loving, devoted and supportive son and you and your Dad have been each other's strength..I believe that this bond that you share will be what gives you both the strength you need to come through this trying time.
All of my prayers are with you and your family
Look For The Good and Praise It!
Out of curiousity, does/did your Dad smoke?
I think I told you previously, my Dad was a heavy smoker and had emphasyema prior to his lung cancer diagnosis, so his SOB was "normal."
My lovely MIL kicked thyroid cancer's butt in 1961. Yep, she's also had a knock down, drag out fight with breast cancer. That old cancer has nothing on Mrs. C (that's Mrs. Cleaver thank-you-very-much).
I am very hopeful that your lovely Dad will look cancer square in the eye and tell it to bug off.
So far, he's been doing all sorts of tests in preparation for the Oncologist appt. on the 14th. He says that other than a dull ache in his chest, and some shortness of breath, he feels fine. In fact, we're having a bit of Indian Summer here, and he wants to take the boat out this weekend. Get out and have some fun. That sounds pretty good to me.
Anyway, we're moving along taking it one day and one appointment at a time. Mari told me to think of this as an endurance race, rather than a sprint. It's good advice, and it really helps. (Thank you Mari)
It's funny, the least stressed least worried person in the whole family is Dad. He went and checked out the new cancer center where he'll be getting treated, and he says he's looking forward to going there because they have great food and hot nurses. That's classic Dad!
I'm starting to think that we can beat this thing.
Last edited by rob; 10-06-2011 at 10:10 AM.
I asked if your Dad smoked because it seems like the prognosis is actually better for people who have smoked vs. non-smokers who get lung cancer. And, of course, those with a great attitude like your Dad fare much better than a Negative Nelly (like my Dad).
Take advantage of that Indian Summer and spend as much time outdoors with your family as you can. It's rained here the last couple of days, which is way too soon, in my opinion.
Keep up that fighting spirit!
Last edited by BonusMom; 10-06-2011 at 01:05 PM.