Welcome to WHL.
I am very sorry for your losses. Having to go through all this at the same time must be very hard.
It is scary to deal with an illness you know nothing about. Make sure that you read alot about it, in order to understand it.
Are you on any meds for the Lupus and RA?
Do you have family around you?
Like Steve said, we are here to listen and help wherever we can.
I may have been dealt a bad hand, but at least I'm still playing with a full deck. ( most of the time anyway).