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Thread: handicap permit

  1. #1
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    Angry handicap permit

    Well since I was recently got my dignoses and have been in a huge flare, It has all been very emotionaly for me, even though I knew all this was coming since I have been fighting it for years.

    I decieded I was going to get a handicap permit for my car, going out and doing things right now is very difficult for me but I still don't like the idea of handicap parking but hubby said he thought that it would help. So I took the papers to the dr and had them fill it out.The whole time I am waiting on the dr I kept thinking to my self, I wish this dr would just walk out here and hand me the papers back and tell me I was just crazy and not disabled. It seemed so strange. When the nurse called my name and handed me the paper to take to the dmv I thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal, I should have been happier but then again It was like a disappointment, was this what life was going to be like, Now are people going to look at me strange, friends and family treat you differently. My youngest Son and my Brother both have disabilities, my youngest son passed away (in 98 age 6) so many people made fun of him and treated him differently as well as my brother who is older than me but I refer to him as my little brother was and has always been treated differently.

    After I went to the dmv to get the place card went over to a friends house and we were talking and I was telling her about going to the dmv and she had the gall to say Glad to know I am not disabled,( this lady had a stroke in July and can not use her right arm and also has a autoimmune disorder as well, had the gall to tell me she was not disable. I don't think she realized that she hurt my feelings about it. I didn't say anything which is not like me, but she had her daughter with her and the daughter is disable (shaken baby syndrome survivor ) so no need to start fighting. Maybe she just wasn't using her head. Hubby said she was just stupid and she not let it brother me.

    I know I have a disablity and just because I do, does not mean that I needed to be treated any differently or like a baby. I am disable not 5 years old and I am certainly not dead as some people seem to think.

    I mean my husband was talking to one of his friends the other day down at his friends business and this lady that we all knew came in and got in thier conversation and the first thing my husband said came out of her mouth was sorry to hear about your wife, If you want here's my phone number call and we can go out for drinks or dinner. (WTH) I may be half dead, crippled and crazy but I am not in the ground yet and don't tend to be any time soon. My husband said he told her he didn't want the number didn't think it was a good idea trying to be nice and let her down easy about it. The lady then had the gall to say well your wife's got a death sentance on her figured I could keep you company and make you happy. My husband said he almost lost it and if he had not been in his friends store he would have told that lady to go fly a kite or something. Needless to say the next time I see her I think I will give her a piece of my mind. ( or whack her with my cane. )

    anyone esle ever have theses problems

    Thanks
    Lea Ann
    Lea
    SLE Lupus diagnosed 8/8/11
    COPD,Raynauda's, IBS, Asthma, Sleep Apena, Amenia and Arthritis,Diabetes,Reflux TMJ, temporal arteritis
    Half dead, cripple and crazy but still above ground.
    Medication
    Novolog injections, Medrol injections, MTX injections, Dicyclomine, Plaqulin, Iron, Spreva inhaler, Advair inhaler, Albuteral inhaler, Fish Oil, Calcium, Diclofenac, Citalopram and doxcycline

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    Some people are just so STUPID, and I'm being nice here, I mean I want to use the B word but I know we're not allowed here sooooo I'll be nice. Next time you see that stupid lady tell her to go f herself, I mean to go have dinner and drinks by herself!
    I know its easier said than done, but just ignore things like this. Hopefully your flare wont last too much longer and you'll be back to your oldself in no time. hang in there hun.
    I know its not easy as I have a dissability plaque myself and at first it was very difficult to accept that I'm no longer able to do all I use to do but on the other hand its a "temporary" card which gives me some hope as to my dissability also being "temporary" heck if I feel up to walking at the end of the lot and walking a mile before going into the store so be it, although It may not be any time soon, I know it will happen. Keep your head up and stay very positive. BTW I LOVE your signature LOL

  3. #3
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    Maybe you can think of the DMV disability plaque as an aid, instead of a label. There are so many people who have these plaques for so many different reasons. It does not mean that you've suddenly become a burden on society or a freak amongst gods.
    The plaque means that you get the privilege of parking close to establishments because it makes it easier for you to enter and exit without having to walk long distances in the elements which can be harmful to you. The plaque means that you have to be given certain consideration in order to make things easier for you because the last thing that you need are circumstances that make things more difficult.
    The plaque is an assistance..like an aid for those times when you need one. It is not, as I've mentioned, a label. Nor does it change who you truly are, it merely helps you to manuever easily so that you can be more of who you are!
    Congratulations on receiving your assistant!

    Peace and Blessings
    Namaste
    Saysusie
    Last edited by Saysusie; 08-20-2011 at 02:16 AM.
    Look For The Good and Praise It!

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    Oh Leaann, I am so sorry you had to deal with that. If stupidity could me turned into an alternative fuel source, we'd never ever have an energy crisis. I'll give the friend that had a stroke a pass but the gal that basically asked your husband out is totally ridiculous! There is absolutely no excuse for that behavior. I commend you and your husband for keeping your cool and not letting her have it. I can't say I'd do the same. Ok, I know I wouldn't because once a gal had the audacity to make a pass at my husband while we were standing with our arms around each other. I reached up (he's 7 inches taller than me), stroked his face and told him loud enough for her to hear "sweetheart, if you are going to cheat on me, make sure it's an improvement and not a bargain basement ho" and looked right at her. I don't mess around when it comes to me and mine. She said nothing but left quickly. I still don't feel bad I said it and that was 3 years ago.

    Enjoy the parking permit. Seriously! I've stated this before: having to walk through a big box store is hard enough, but having to first walk a mile through the parking lot is ridiculous. Don't think of it as handicap parking, think of it as VIP PARKING! Yes, we lupies are VIPS! or VILs? Very Important Lupies! Anyone who has a situation (how do you like that way to describe it) that qualifies for a blue card and still gets out and takes care of business is a VIP!
    "I'm going to get healthy or die trying"

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    Thanks everyone for support. I guess it will take time to get use to. My daughter told me to look at it as a fashion statement as if I had just been crowned queen of the town, which I thought was funny. I think I had years to keep saying oh I don't have this and now actually hearing the fact that I do, I think now, I am mad about it but even though I am mad I feel like everything is more clear now, All the issues I had are now making since to me and my husband.

    By the way the new parking permits for South Carolina are now Bright Red as they are doing away with the Blue one's and I understand the need for them to put a picture on it, but dang the picture they used for mine was my license picture and it is old as dirt and does not look like me at all. Like I really wanted that picture hanging from my car.
    Lea
    SLE Lupus diagnosed 8/8/11
    COPD,Raynauda's, IBS, Asthma, Sleep Apena, Amenia and Arthritis,Diabetes,Reflux TMJ, temporal arteritis
    Half dead, cripple and crazy but still above ground.
    Medication
    Novolog injections, Medrol injections, MTX injections, Dicyclomine, Plaqulin, Iron, Spreva inhaler, Advair inhaler, Albuteral inhaler, Fish Oil, Calcium, Diclofenac, Citalopram and doxcycline

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    Lea Ann,
    I've said this before - the greatest thing that my wonderful PCP in Texas ever did for me was to sign the paper for me to get my disabled plates. She made it clear that I am permanently disabled, so I have special license plates on our car. They are wonderful - It helps me so much to park closer at the commissary and other stores. Here in California, I am able to park free at any parking meter and I can ignore the 1 or 2 hr. limits at other spots. I love it!
    The same paperwork was accepted as proof that I qualify for a service dog, so I was able to order a mobility halter and an ID for Conner, the German Shepherd that my daughter is training for me.
    It took my hubby a while to get used to heading for the handicapped spots when I'm in the car, but now he heads right for them, and it does help to make me more able to go places with him. I'm also not shy about always using my cane and sometimes using my wheelchair - anything that helps me get by!
    BTW, I like the "queen of the town" idea.
    Hugs,
    Marla

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    @ Marla thanks I guess in time I will get use to it. It is just hard and feeling that people will look differently at me. Like my husband says we will adjust and then it will be like second nature, you will park and not think anything about it.
    Lea
    SLE Lupus diagnosed 8/8/11
    COPD,Raynauda's, IBS, Asthma, Sleep Apena, Amenia and Arthritis,Diabetes,Reflux TMJ, temporal arteritis
    Half dead, cripple and crazy but still above ground.
    Medication
    Novolog injections, Medrol injections, MTX injections, Dicyclomine, Plaqulin, Iron, Spreva inhaler, Advair inhaler, Albuteral inhaler, Fish Oil, Calcium, Diclofenac, Citalopram and doxcycline

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    Leann, we run into stupid ignorant people all the time. I have both a cane and a permit. I use them when I need to and do I get the looks. My parents don't like to see me use the cane. I'm 63 to my fathers 94. Most people are set in their ways as to what they think. We can either accept them as they are or move on. I always think that if anyone says anything to me I would proudly say: "I have Lupus; what's your disease? Stupidity?

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    Nonna,
    I get those looks as I'm parking, too. I look too young and healthy while I'm still behind the wheel. However, as soon as I get out of the car and start to hobble on my cane, people look like "Oh, I see now!" Many people ask me if I have MS. My legs are so shaky and spastic, I have a really hard time getting around.
    I always feel funny when people who are much older than me offer to help me.
    I really like your comeback.
    Hugs,
    Marla

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    Cool 2 issues I would like to share with you

    Firstly a friend of mine who was the Australian of the year a prestigious award in Australia. She has 6children is the top researcher in skin repair after a burn and. Was the main dr helping the victims of the Baili bombing burns a few years ago. She is a high researcher and when she gives a talk she always says if you come across a negative person never enter into research with them just turn your self and find someone who is positive. I would advise you to surround your self with people who support you not put down and those who understand you. Your friend with the stroke is not a true friend. In your life you will come across people like that and nothing often will change them so surround yourself with people who accept you for yourself and who support you in your flareups.

    Point 2 I would like to mention. Since I have been using a walking stick I have founrpd so many friendly people who support me so much because they can see I have difficulty with,y health. Even walking in the shops if I drop something and I am using my walking stick people jump to pick it up for me. Also mothers with children immediately say to their children to walk around me and not to trip me. I will apply for a parking disability sticker and if things go the same as my starting to use my walking stick I will be treated a little more considerate. If I am not treated reasonably I just stop and look at the person and they get the idea. I hope my experiences can offer you encouragement to lift your expectations to enable your friends and shoppers treat you with more understanding.
    Desley
    For every dark cloud there is a silver lining!
    Diagnosed: Lupus; mesenteric panniculitis; fat nacrosis;

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